Tip 39: Agree To disagree and kiss I Love You

Being a new daddy brings a whole new chapter to marriage and living with a uniquely different individual whom you have chosen to love for the rest of your life, for better or for worse, in times of sickness or health, in Agreements or Disagreements. (The last ones my own but surely reflect very much the theme of marriage and love!). We do not surely marry someone only because they agree with us all the time and that we have common beliefs, same worldviews, same outlook of life, same preferences and habits and a perfect understanding and knowledge of each other. Probably until the day we get buried underground next to each other - there will still be no perfect agreement (maybe even more knowledge of disagreements than ever) yet a happily married couple will be happy to agree to disagree and know thats the joy of living. To be able to love selflessly! Even if your ideals of Your Baby is different 100%. Now, isn't that a whole new chapter of loving by being a new daddy?

Now, this tip is not a tip to admit defeat! Far from it! The ability of daddy to rationalize and find an optimum solution to every problem will always be his greatest strength especially if mummy is more the emotional type. All of the world's greatest problems even can be solved if one stops and reflects and looks at the many options available together. Most problems will not go away and the consequences of any solution will stay but the question is whether one should give up loving and make individual decisions or continue to pursue love, making corporate decisions, thinking the many options together and agreeing on one of the possible solutions to the problem at hand. Even if it means its not our choice of options! But agreeing to disagree for the time being until we let time teach us the right lessons.

Now this calls for some examples and boy, do I have many. Okay, case 1 is an example of my stupidity. I was adamant about shaving Haruka's head even before 3 months old. Please do not ridicule me - I am only human to have had an inferiority complex that I had thin hair probably because my parents did not shave my head when I was young as shared in tip 28. So, I agreed to disagree with Tomomi and finally I realised my stupidity yet may consider coaxing Tomomi to agree to light trimming of Haruka's hair around age 1 if the hair scalp are still thin and little. Case 2 is Tomomi's inability to let go of her fear towards immunizations and its side effects. I was almost shocked when Tomomi told me that in Japan, the first immunizations start in the second month (as opposed to Malaysia done on Day 1 of birth) and yet she would think its optional and she would prefer Haruka not undergo any immunizations to protect her from the side effect of mental disorder. I agreed to disagree with Tomomi while asking her to talk to the doctor and read up more. Finally, Tomomi somehow agreed to immunize Haruka in her third month and Haruka turned out to have not even a mild fever after the immunizations. So, this tip worked again! Should have even kissed Tomomi earlier should I know of this tip and not gotten into unnecessary arguments. Case 3 is unresolved. Tomomi decides to breastfeed Haruka up to 1 year old or even older (without the use of a breastpump). I think this would affect Haruka being too attached to Tomomi and Tomomi having too much stress of not being able to leave Haruka for too long. Will write about this in another tip about breastfeeding. But for now, I have agreed to give Tomomi short breaks on weekends to leave home and to spend time going out with Tomomi where ever she wants to go. Sure more challenges ahead with more disagreements. Will agreeing all the time helps? I will live to blog each day the coming tips if it works 100%. :) Please leave more comments and bookmark me to encourage me on my "ventures". It makes me think when I agree to disagree with you by publishing your comments. :)