Tip 259: Live to Worship God

I have returned to my joy and reason of living which is to worship God, my Creator. Not to worship myself, the people I love or the idea of making this world a better place and live for others. Not even to merely live for my family. There is a miracle of life when being in awe of God, trusting God and saying, "Yes, I will do whatever you want of me and acknowledge you as my God". It is never easy to say that. Abraham said that to God when God asked him to bring his son to be sacrificed. It must have felt so troubling and must be one of life's most challenging dilemma. Giving up all you have for God. I encountered that question when I was 16 years old and my answer pleased God. He could search my heart and knew that my love was sacrificial. And God remembered as He did Abraham's love. It served as an altar between me and God for both of us to remember.

It does seem crazy to live your life for some One else. Why not live each day for yourself? Yet, as we trust the Almighty, we only seek to discover life's joy and pleasure. It is the thrill of knowing God and knowing He knows you. God's knowledge of you is beyond skin deep. It is trusting that all your needs are met and as you delight in God, even your desires are fulfilled as who better to know you than your Creator.

Throughout our spiritual journey with God, we may utter how important God is in our life. But at certain episodes in that journey, we may come to a crossroad where we are faced with the choice of just living for ourselves, or acknowledging that only God matters. Yet, God understands if we are not ready, but greater joy and blessing comes to those who say yes.

It is a paradox that when God seeks us to give, it is for Him to reveal our lack and to point us to His provision. God is not selfish but is Love. Abraham was stopped to sacrifice his son, as the lamb was provided. I was not short changed when I chose serving God over my studies. As Jesus asked the Samaritan woman to serve her water, it was Jesus who provided the living water. The water from the well that we can draw upon will not be what God has planned for our lives. Never guess the ways of God to bless us. The question is are we willing to live our lives to honor Him? Do we value God in our lives? Are we truly convinced that God is worth it? Do we have faith to go to the next level of our relationship with God? Are we ready for a paradigm shift that only God's purposes matter, not our efforts? It can be scary to give away the little we have. Yet, God's provision is immense to supply all our needs.


The lyrics by Wayne and Cathy Perrin sums it best.
When I look into your holiness, when I gaze into your loveliness,
When all things that surround become shadows in the light of you.
I worship you, the reason I live is to worship you.
When I've found the joy of reaching your heart, when my will becomes enthralled in your love,

To human is to err. It will be difficult to be faithful to God, no matter how bright and awesome His love for us. Pride seeps in when God blesses us with our heart's desires. Yet, at every opportunity when God reaches out to you, say yes and God remembers. He will not forsake you and will bring you back into the fold where you may never thirst again. You will again recognize the Shepherd's voice and feel safe in His leading.

(Photos show Sayaka at 4 and 7 months old and at 10 months old at a church camp in Johor in Oct 2011).

Tip 257: Letter to 3 years old Haruka

Dear my darling Haruka,

You were 2 years 1 month old when you first set foot in Singapore. It is a joy to see you grow up and adjust to a new country. You have built the foundation earlier living in Tokyo, London and Hong Kong and have got used to interacting with foreign children, as well as adults who smiled at you and said how cute you were. You picked up English early when you watched Barney and played with foreign children at the church Sunday school at Canary Wharf, London. It is at this age and entering a new land with new cultures similar to daddies (Singapore) that you begin to explore your identity. After a 1 month visit to Okinawa, I was very surprised at how you could quickly switch to speaking more Japanese and not speak English at all. Daddy has since learnt to be patient as your sponge absorbs in various directions.

In Singapore, daddy wanted to give you new experiences you did not have previously. You had the opportunity to learn swimming in Singapore, as it was too cold in London or Tokyo. Daddy was also proud that you and mummy begin to find a Japanese church in Singapore that both of you enjoyed attending every week. You begin to learn bible stories every Sunday besides the children's bible daddy reads to you at night. Daddy was successful in inculcating in you the joy of learning and stirring your curiousity. The Singapore zoo is probably your favorite venue especially when daddy got a zoo visit card. You also were closer to Malaysia now and was able to participate in some Chinese traditions and had the precious opportunity to get to know your great grandmother in 2009, before she passed away in 2011.

In Singapore, you had more space to play compared to Tokyo. Daddy was glad you enjoyed the many toys we brought back from Tokyo since daddy was able to engage transportation of items from Japan. It is your blessing that Daddy was able to spend much time with you before your other siblings were born. May you cherish these moments and be a loving sister to your siblings always. When Sayaka was in mummy's tummy, you told both mummy and daddy that you will be a loving sister who will be kind and play well with your sister. You demonstrate much maturity in thought, speech and behavior and we can only praise God that He is constantly working in your life to guide you each and every day. Sometimes, you pray in your room with daddy in Japanese language. I am so touched by your prayers.

Daddy loves you and is glad for your ability to be the bridge between your Japanese grand parents and still adapt well in Singapore. I pray you will continue to be a blessing to many in the future. Love, Papa

(Photos of Haruka aged 3 years and her birthday celebrated in Ishigaki, Okinawa)

Tip 252: Eat a work of art

As I enter Tanjung Pagar Complex, a hawker center in Singapore, even from a distance I can hear the sound of wok clanging. It is however but from one stall that echoes through the whole complex.

The cook is dedicated to ensure every single strand of noodle of his char kway teow dish is fried evenly as he tosses and turns the noodles. Even when there is a long queue of customers, it does not stop him from concentrating on his craft on each and every plate cooked to perfection. He does not believe in cooking a few dishes together in one wok, even when the wok is large enough or if certain customers order the same dish.

While I am unsure if this is the best char kway teow stall in Singapore, I certainly appreciate every ounce of dedication put into the noodles. The blend of prawns, oil, egg, Chinese sausage and chili absorbs evenly into the noodles, together with a simmer of lime makes it just right for my palate - the umami after taste. For SGD2.50 a dish, his passion is beyond monetary value.

Another place I enjoy appreciating a work of fine craftsmanship in food is at the Jalan Berseh Ice Kachang (shaved ice) stall. The owner is a humble man who does not believe in placing awards at his stall, even when he has a steady flow of customers when he starts opening the stall at noon. He has a winning ice shaver machine that shaves the finest ice I have ever tasted. If I could be his consultant, I will re-brand his SGD1.20 ice kachang to Snow Ice delights and charge double or triple the price as its a differentiator from the rest :)

But, again the best dishes do not depend on a wok or a machine. The attention to detail rest in how his hand churns the bowl to precisely capture the shaved ice and how he garnishes this dessert with the right amount of milk, syrup and other condiments such as corn, red beans, kidney beans and attap chee.

After a few visits, I was curious on the secret of the distinct aromatic taste of the syrup. It has the right level of sweetness and a natural taste to it. I enquired from the owner and he said he does not buy it from suppliers, but makes the syrup from natural ingredients. This must be the reason many customers can taste the difference and even after the lunch time crowd leaves, this is the only dessert stall that never stops churning its machine.

Only between 5-8pm, I can get this refreshing desert quick enough to relieve the stress of work. As I ponder upon such excellent workmanship, I aspire to plan for my next day’s work with hopefully the same rigor, passion and drive to excellence and craftsmanship as these two cooks.

(Top photo is the Penang Style variant while second is black sauce Seafood Char Kway Teow from second floor of Tanjung Pagar Complex on top of the market. Next is the ice kachang at Jalan Berseh Food Center. Sayaka's first swimming pool experience was during her first church camp held at Palm Resort Le Grandeur Hotel, Senai Johor).

Tip 239: Say Yes promptly then followup

As I look back, the success I attain today stems from the many "Yes" that I said promptly whenever opportunity arises. The Yes sometimes occurs even before the opportunity emerges as I seek out opportunities through building relationships and letting others know that I am willing to help.














Most of the time, I never expect or imagine the possibilities that could be the result of an eager spirit to engage myself in activities. Often times, there are no motive behind my intention to spend the weekend going to school or to organizations to clean the place, to lift a chair and arrange for events, or for walking out a professor to her car and engage in a chat. Yet, when I said yes and follow it up with emails, there is no knowing that the other party will find a win win transaction to happen between us.














I remember vividly that the first few Yes were during my primary school days participating in story telling contests. Wasn't as active in extra curricular activities after school then, as I would not stay back too often after school as the school was a distance away. Yet, upon secondary school, I begin to join various clubs and was actively participating in all weekly meetings. It could be the spare time not having too much planned family activities during the weekends, that made me available for school activities. I begin to be elected for various positions in clubs, from being a mere representative of my class to being the treasurer and the president of various clubs. When a class teacher would want a participant in one of the competitions she organized, I would also not say No when asked and was singing in front of the school and making public announcements or speeches.














Fast forwarding into varsity life, I kept in touch with my professors and did not hesitate to accept an invitation to work on rewriting my varsity project into a published research paper. I would find it fulfilling to keep myself busy while I was still single and accepted part time teaching offers at my varsity on top of my usual day job. I constantly got testimonials of each activity I participated in and used these as supporting references for various applications. This made me a savvy applicant since I have a repository of resources at my disposal.














It takes lots of initiative to write to everyone whose business card you receive, maintain a record of email and home addresses of people you know and send greeting cards regularly to different people each year. It may seem like a waste of time, yet among the many deeds some will be remembered and some reciprocated with rewarding opportunities.














(Haruka and family at the church family camp in Sebana Golf and Marine Resort, Kota Tinggi, Johor, Malaysia).

Tip 238: Quality vs quantity time

Parenting is not easy in this postmodern educated world. A parent is judged more severely by their kids. It is amazing that kids grow up much faster these days and even at age 2-3, kids would put value on what type of attributes that they like in a parent.

How much time you spent with your kid matters less than what activities you engage with them and whether you make them happy. This is especially difficult for dads who will be spending less time with the kids compared to mum. For my case, since Tomomi is a stay at home mum, there is a stark difference in time loss in relationship building between daddy and kids. The less time spent means kids has less need for dad than mum.

At a young age, kids watch TV and have an ideal vision of how happy families ought to be. Sometimes, they do not see the big picture of other essential parenting attributes such as need for discipline, tolerance and forgiveness. Kids these days due to better education at a young age, is capable of listening to conversations between parents yet they may not have the maturity to understand underlying conflicts well. All this puts bias on how they view a certain parent and the value they place in spending time with the parent. Hence, it puts pressure on daddy to work harder to be more careful with my words and prepare intelligent and fun activities with my daughters.

Sometimes, when you are back from work, you just want to relax on the couch and watch TV or read newspapers. Yes, you would also like to chase your kids and hug them. But, growing kids would yearn for more mind stimulating activities which require a little bit more effort, concentration and dedication. After a while they detest hugs and tickles. Yet, if you put a little effort with the activities, they may still be glad to come back to you.

Kids watch advanced and highly educated TV programs nowadays. Science experiments, craft work and games. All this requires preparation time. Other possible activities include colouring and painting with the kid, putting effort to do creative story telling, playing a board game together or taking the kid outdoors for cycling.

It is possible that Haruka at age 3 years yearns more for such activities as she has not gone to kindergarten yet. But, what happens later when she comes back tired from school and does not yearn for daddy attention. Maybe I am just being sensitive and dependant on my kid’s affection. Should I just go back to my newspapers and give the kids the space they need? It is not easy to be a daddy as the role is not as clear cut and you never know the right amount of dedication that is needed. When that’s resolved, quality time keeps taking on new meaning in today’s modern world.

(Photos show Haruka and family in Johor for our Japanese church retreat in 2010).

Tip 215: Coaxing new habits in a baby

I watched a program about animals and how they cared for their young. A baby seal was with the mother seal on the icy surface, already independently moving around without needing the warmth of the mother. The mother knows that this is the right time to teach the baby to swim in the icy cold water under the ice surface. A hole was made on the ice. The mother seal feels the cold water and dives into the water. Then, it surfaces to look for the baby. It made constant noise for the baby to follow her. Then, it pushes the baby into the cold water and follows it. This is natural parenting. The mother did not think that the baby can swim without persistent coaxing. How else will the baby learn to swim and search for food without her mother teaching it and patiently coaxing the baby the habits needed for survival and living? Who else will the baby learn from? Even if the animals live in packs, they would only follow after their mother. Of course, there are always instances where babies separate from their parents and is cared by another female in the pack, but such is out of the ordinary.














Society has progressed that we think kids can learn on their own. We think others can do the job of caring for our babies. Yet, kids learn best from their parents. Good habits need to be learnt early in childhood, or even while the baby is 1 or 2 years old. Habits such as keeping your toys after play, learning to wait patiently and silently while someone is making a phone call, sitting attentively and listening when others speak instead of playing and distracting other children, saying good morning to everyone even when you are not in the mood, greeting everyone when you enter the home and putting back your own shoes, giving thanks for the food before eating, taking pride in keeping busy such as reading or playing independently or helping mummy in kitchen, smiling when someone looks at you (if the person looks pleasant and safe), knowing what is safe and what is dangerous before doing something or going somewhere. The list goes on and yes, it can be learnt and practiced by a 2 year old. Children may learn all these things by themselves. Yet, if the parent can share them lovingly to the child, the habits stamp a more lasting impact in their lives. If we have time for them, we need not lose our patience and instruct them or scold them. We instead can patiently coax or motivate them to inculcate these values daily. If we feel our children are just not as obedient, then it is ever more a case to spend more time with them. The mother seal definitely would feel anxious if her baby is not learning how to swim. Children will definitely catch this earlier in childhood if they caught it from their parents, instead of from their maid or from their teachers at school. Teachers play an important role as children do look up to certain teachers. But, what if they are none that they look up to or if the children seem to adore TV characters more than exemplary caring adults around them. We, parents need to play that role. If the mother seal can do it due to her God given role, why can't us? Let's do it and make this world a better place.

(Photos show Haruka in Malaysia during the Chinese New Year holidays to visit her grandparents. An uncommon beautiful large well maintained park with wild monkeys at Taman Tun Dr. Ismail, Kuala Lumpur with aunt Oy Mooi who came back from USA and heading to Sabah for good and Haruka's first lion dance).

Tip 205: Identify the wisdom in traditions

Haruka was back in Malaysia for the Christmas holidays. It was the first time she met her great grandmother who is 86 years old. I thought it was good for Haruka to build relations with her extended family, yet later I realized it could not be as ideal as I hoped for. There was the language barrier. My grandmother was born in Malaysia before getting married to my grandfather who hailed from Guangdong. Eventhough, my grandmother had less Chinese roots since she lived her whole life in Malaysia, she did not attend school as girls then were barred from going to school by their fathers. So, my grandmother could not speak English to Haruka and she thought it would be difficult to play with Haruka. That was until I saw photos of Tangyuan in the local newspaper announcing that the next day on 22 December 2009 was the Winter Solstice Festival. It was an opportunity for Haruka to knead Tangyuan with her great grandmother.

Traditions have been introduced by the elders for many decades or centuries with careful thought on how traditions can instill noble values and bring people together. Societies in the past do not have so much convenience and mobility to keep in touch easily. Traditions such as the Dongzhi is a good time for many to make the effort to travel the distance to knead rice flour together to make as many round dumplings as possible as flour was not expensive previously. It also instills patience as a good dumpling is knead with love and lots of attention to detail to ensure its round and chewy. The glutinous rice flour needs to have just the right amount of water, else it will be too dry for kneading or too wet to hold a smooth round shape. If hundreds of balls are made, patience is required and a desire to want to maintain good standards may warrant kneading the balls over and over by reducing the size and rekneading if its too large or too small. Like the Japanese, the Chinese too had many traditions emphasizing the need to put attention to detail.

Nowadays, we can easily ready made Tangyuan knead by factories or vendors in the market, but nothing beats participating in the traditions and reaping the benefits if we identify with the wisdom behind it. Do it - it takes effort, time, inconvenience and unnecessary stress, but there is good in many traditions.

(Photos show Haruka with her Malaysian great grandmother at our home in Petaling Jaya, Malaysia and Haruka with her Malaysian grandmother at the Singapore zoo and Clarke Quay riverside when she came to visit my new Singapore home. Also, Haruka's first hawker center food. The best we tried in our first 2 weeks in Singapore was the Zion Road hawker center opposite Great World City, Tiong Bahru which is clean and has lots of food variety).