Tip 163: A friendly safe community without strangers

Centuries ago or even decades ago to some extent, before capitalism and the growth of large cities, communities were close knitted. Everyone knew one another. Children would play outside their home or at neighbours home, or along streams and gardens. When someone passes by, they would greet each other and ask about the child's family. There would be smiles exchanged. When a stranger from outside town comes by, the children would know. The older community members would know as well and would observe from afar, if not approach the person to find out courteously. This builds love in a child to know others care. This teaches the child to smile genuinely. This helps develop a sense of identity in the child through the people who love the child. This develops courage out of trust. The child learns that he/she is a valuable part of the society. People are happy to have the child and the child feels a sense of belonging.

The advent of large dense populated cities, see high rise apartments inhabited by hundreds of people who work long hours and seldom meet one another. The big cities attract migrants from other towns and its too hard for anyone to keep track of who is new and who is part of the community. Then, there are illegal immigrants or foreigners who do not have a sense of love for the community or may even harbour an interest for crime. The ever increasing crime rates and brutality of crime creates fear and mistrust. Parents advise their children not to speak with strangers. The family seldom relaxes out in the open, but would rush out of their guarded homes into other safe territories. The child still learns to smile, but through watching commercials of beautiful people. The child learns to build a strong self-identity through achievements, and courage through self-defense and anger. The child becomes independent and adaptable, yet may sometimes lack understanding and empathy of others in the community.

There are varying degrees of safety, friendliness and community in different cities in different parts of the world. It is not necessary that large metropolitan cities are less ideal for bringing up children. I rate community feeling by watching how strangers smile at Haruka on the streets and in the train. In Tokyo for instance, even when it is one of the largest metropolitan cities, there are many pockets of neighbourhoods everywhere that are less populated. Only during peak hours in trains, train stations and lifts, you would experience excessive crowding. Many elderly people on the streets would not hesitate to make a short remark of how cute Haruka is and smile. Same goes for London, a little less for Paris as most of the remarks were from tourist we bumped into during our travel. For Hong Kong, one has to select exclusive residential areas like Discovery Bay where there are many open space and expats, else the quick and noisy lifestyle seem to drown the need to exchange pleasantries with strangers. In Malaysia, there is a community of very friendly people yet safety concerns has begun to inhibit such communities only within the confines of the homes of friends, churches, mosques, restaurants and hotel events. In New York, I read about a Spanish who was accustomed to his friendly community back home, played with a cute girl in a mall and was reprimanded by the mother who took the child away from his arms.

Though, these general examples do not do justice to the possibilities of how we can do our part to create communities. We can make it a point where practical, to trade pleasantries and smiles to other children. A friendly gesture can go a long way to build an esteem in a child towards love and hope. An observant eye towards crime can build confidence towards the efforts anyone can contribute towards a community.

Have you as a stranger told a child, how smart or cute he or she is? Try it today.

(Photos show Haruka at the aviary in Hong Kong park and more of the Hong Kong skyline).

Tip 162: Talking about grandparents with baby

Living abroad, away from the daily proximity of grandparents and relatives of both daddy and mummy may not be so ideal. Yet, daddy and mummy can make efforts to rekindle thoughts of them with the baby. It helps to have frequent phone calls and visits, but we can also playback video of previous visits, or even bring them up during story telling.

I was reading a story book with Haruka that have a picture of a family of mice. She recalled the last time I told her that there was a daddy and mummy mouse on that picture. So she pointed and said excitedly at baby, papa, mama, then she pointed oba-chan (grandmother), ojisan (grandfather) at the older mice. That's such a good thought for a 1 year old to be thinking about - family. In fact, this is something that many babies thinks about. So, when watching kids programs, there are always good opportunities to talk about family with your baby. Of course, the talk would be reinforced with frequent visits or even stay overs as often as possible.

Maybe photos are useful too? I do not put too many photoframes of family members in my home and may want to adopt this practice later. What are other ways?

(Photos show Haruka at the Hong Kong Museum of Art and Science Museum. Probably the encounter with the astronaut gave her nightmare cries at night).

Tip 161: Reading in both languages

I am impressed by Haruka's vocabulary development. She already has quite a sizeable listening and speaking vocabulary for both Japanese and English language for a baby under 2 years old. Of course, girls pick up languages quicker, yet daddy is still gleaming with pride of his princess. I am glad we started her bilingual even under 6 months old by speaking in 2 languages. I am also glad we started reading to her early. Now, as I read to Haruka, I can test her vocabulary for both languages. If she says correctly "sakana" when seeing fish in the book, I read out fish. I know her listening vocabulary already registers it, but she just forgot to say it. Yet, during this raining season, she could say "kasa umbrella" quickly when I point to the picture of the umbrella.

There is no need to worry whether the baby speaks with improper language and grammar when mixing 2 languages. In fact, it helps to build the baby's memory when the baby could associate 2 words together. A mother was worried that her child was still using some baby language together with an English word. For instance, baby says,"mum mum, eat". I would instead encourage such habit and even introduce a third foreign word with eat. Soon, the baby will give up using the baby language since it is less used in daily conversation with others. Though, the concept of having more than 1 word to describe an action or noun is best learn soonest possible. Even if the baby mixes between languages, the most important is that the baby is able to express himself/herself with as many words he/she can think of immediately.

Interestingly, a Japanese research found that Japanese babies used less nouns than babies from English-speaking countries. In Japan, babies used five times more nouns than verbs, while its 12:1 in English-speaking countries. The researcher explains that English-speaking parents emphasizes teaching on the words and names of things, while in Asia, parents tend to stress emotions and feelings.

So do you emphasize more nouns than verbs or the other way around? Have you started your baby on a second language?

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(Photos show more fun at Hong Kong Ocean Park and tasty, unhealthy, yummy Hong Kong food).

Tip 160: Steamy hot freshness hoka-hoka (ホカホカ)

Another Japanese phrase that I am introducing is again that which stimulate the senses. The aroma of fresh food cooked at just the right temperature, its hot steam rising to touch the face or fingers. This could be rice out of the rice cooker or hot baked sweet potatoes (焼き芋/yakiimo). For instance, during cold evenings, the Japanese have this iconic traditional street vendor who pushes a cart called ishi yakiimo (stone roasted sweet potato). The vendor uses the loud speaker and begins to chant,"yaki-imo, ishi yaki-imo, hoka hoka dayo" (It is steaming hot). People would come out to the cold to trade their coins for a paper wrapped sweet potato that will burn their fingers, and rush back to their homes. The irresistible smelling steam warms the room and awakens the senses, bringing a reminder of the cold season and the simple freshness of food from the ground, cooked in its simplest form providing the basic sustenance needed.

That is the Japan that celebrates simplicity and fresh natural food, bland they may be but offers sweetness from the ground. The presence of steamy hot food during cold winter seems like a ritual no different from watching the sakura at the start of spring, cooling down with shave ice at the beach in summer or queing up to see autumn leaves along the Irohazaka slopes of Nikko. The hot steam is temporal, yet is appreciated and celebrated for its purpose, role and meaning. Another example of the wabi-sabi concept.

Not tried this with Haruka, though she loves sweet potato and yam. What about other street vendors you miss and hope to introduce to your kids?

(Photos show Haruka playing at the amusement park at Hong Kong's Ocean Park).

Tip 139: Building baby's courage on the swing

I was spending time with Haruka in a playground when I saw a mum with a 4 year old daughter. Her daughter was healthy mentally and physically, but somehow she was afraid to sit on the swing. Her mother put her sitted on the swing and the little girl began to call out to her mother in a frightened tone, to take her down. Then, the mother calmed her by holding her hand and talked to her. She stopped her tantrums and just sat calmly. Slowly, the mother pushed the swing gently while holding her hand. She was getting a little nervous, but tried to stay calm as her mother's hands were firmly holding her. It probably took quite a while to get this girl swinging. And even then, her mother did not want to let her swing too much that day. But, a historic milestone was made. The daughter overcame her fear slightly with the aid of a patient mum. This probably could have been avoided by exposing a child early to play and to some safe adrenalin rush at the playground. Yet, at every step, a parent's presence can make a huge difference in a child's development. Most of the time, its through playing with your child.

I took Haruka to a playground even when she was less than 1 year old. She just sat in my arms and watch the other children play, plus turn her heads around to notice for the sparrows flying around. I would also sit on the swing with her in my arms and slowly swing up and down so she would feel the swinging movements while still stay close to daddy. Later, we found some enclosed swings with a secure box where Haruka could sit aided and swing. She liked it even at a young age. When she could walk and climb stairs, we were amazed at how quickly she got acquanted with the slides and other play items in the playground. I truly think an outdoor playground is good for children, even if they have been playing various toys indoors. Nothing beats the joy of swinging and sliding and falling down on a patch of grass or sand. These are simple pleasures that we ourselves as children enjoyed, yet nowadays there are so many amusement parks and playrooms that children could play at. Location may matter less and can not be a substitute to having parent's presence in those crucial moments. Nothing beats a parent holding a child's hand to reassure her that all is fine at the swing.

How often do you take your child to the playground?

(Photos show Haruka at Discovery Bay playground at a man made beach and Hong Kong park playground overlooking Hong Kong concrete skyline. I must say that I am quite impressed at the good playground facilities in large playgrounds in Hong Kong).

Tip 133: Photos for the sake of blogging

I came across a blogpost with the title, "What do you do for the sake of blogging?" It is very amusing to read the many responses of bloggers from all walks of life, being gung-ho to snap photos for their blog. Nowadays, everyone have a digital camera by their side and whenever there is a good story idea, the camera is out. It can be a food review, a humorous signboard, an event or a beautiful scenery. Photos do make the blog more interesting. The urge to want to post photos on the blog also improves the photo taking experience to churn out more quality photos that can be reviewed by our children and loved ones. Ultimately, a good blog, full of photos of your family experiences with your children is a nice present to pass to your children. It can also be a treasured memory held by daddy as he looks back at his life as a daddy, the many places he has been with his family, the ups and downs, his thoughts and his efforts. I did not have many photos of my childhood, but I am now attempting to do more for my children. Glad that there are readers to my blog who are encouraging me along the way.

As you may notice, I have taken many photos of Haruka and us as a family during our weekend trips. I have videos too, but have not posted them. What you may not know is the time spent to call out to Haruka to get her attention. She is now a little more understanding as she have seen the photos on the camera and video and know the tiresome efforts of daddy to produce something good for her entertainment. So, after 1 minute calling her name, sometimes Haruka does entertain me by looking straight at the camera. Also, daddy is always eyeing for a good shot. I would place Haruka on different edges or corners to capture the best scenes knowing she is now sitting straight up and would hold still. Haruka is a very sensible girl who understands danger more than daddy. Of course, mummy would scream at such sights. Then, there is the longer time spent in a particular location for too many photo taking that mummy begins to get hungry and impatient. So, daddy will need to have the skill to quickly snap photos and still be able to complete as many trips to different locations, while ensuring mummy and baby has enough rest and food. But, the proof of the pudding is in a blog where one can review photos and understand the joys and efforts of daddy. Its hard to express these in words all in 1 day. Yet, you can possibly scroll down the whole blog of years of blogging in 1 day.

Do share with me what you have done for the sake of blogging. Oh yes, I did not mention the time when I snapped photos in a British museum in between guard patrols. Photos of that out soon.

(Photos show the Chi Lin Nunnery next to the Nan Lian Garden. The temples are constructed by binding wood frames together without nails based on Tang Dynasty design. Photo of food is from a Taiwanese restaurant along Jordan road showing an oyster noodle and dessert of ice with yam and sweet potato balls).