Tip 131: Smiling when the bowl is empty

Its such a joy to teach a young toddler and observe how she learns. A baby or toddler has the enthusiasm and desire to learn everything taught to her without question. With you or without you, the baby will be learning from the moment she is born and starts to take in her new surroundings. Every sight and sound will be part of her learning processs. I was just making a casual remark when Haruka finished a bowl of food. I said with a smile and by making the sign language of finish and saying, "Nai, Nai" (None in Japanese). I was impressed to observe later that Haruka does the same expressions everytime something is finished, instead of being unhappy about it, she has that positive outlook that she understands the concept and wants to let others know. My candid reaction and good mood earlier has done wonders to Haruka, as she repeats now this practice of smiling and expressing happiness when something is empty.












I reflected on this and recalled the tale of Goldlocks and the three bears. The story goes like this: The Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It's empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks. Papa Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It too is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.












I am glad now that my initial response was never close to the roar of Papa Bear. Haruka may later understand the concept of work and the need to replenish resources, but I hope she starts off with a positive outlook that there is still the ability to be thankful in every circumstances. Truly, even the ability to recognize the phenomenon that the bowl is empty and that there is an opportunity to fill it later is cause for joy. My previous post shared about the need to affirm good behavior in a baby to help the baby define happiness. Even in her yearnings, the baby can develop a sense of humor and embrace her surroundings better. All this is only made possible through lots of communication and teaching positive values through daddy and mummy's living examples. Truly, later Haruka will begin to choose to think for herself how she prefers to behave, but at least she has learnt one possible way to behave and think. She knows that there is now an option to smile, be contented and be patient till the next bowl of food arrives. Lets see how long this continues, and I will share on this as it helps me to reflect as well the beautiful lessons in life.












I know that by age 2-3, the toddler has more tantrums and may not easily smile because daddy is smiling. What are ways to calm her tantrums?












(Photos show more of Ocean Park including the dolphin show, the sea lions, the aviary, the scene from the cable car - all for a low discounted admission fee of HKD178/USD$23 per adult. Also, at Plaza Hollywood near to Diamond Hill station, Haruka posed with a fan of mine, the funny Maria Cordero or also known as Fat Mama Maria, who sings and stars in many Hong Kong films).

Tip 130: Affirming goodness in a baby

"There are three ingredients to the good life; learning, earning and yearning", according to Christopher Morley (1890-1957). In my opinion, the baby first came out into this world with only the experience of yearning. Though Haruka stopped her crying after her first 5 minutes and as I carry her, she began to look around the delivery room, as though seeking to experience learning. The baby yearns to have her hunger met and as she finds comfort in her mother's breast, she begin to yearn for warmth, comfort, familiarity, security and later the joy of communication and love. Though, yearning to communicate effectively requires learning the body language of the parents and familiar people around. The day would come as well, when the baby earns the approval and love by meeting the expectations of those he/she meets. Even when the baby does not have the right of a 16 year old to receive legitimate wages, the baby is pleased to have earned what he/she has wanted. That's the good life every baby would want. Parents can guide the baby to learn what is good, and to be on the path to earn the parent's affirmation when meeting their expectations. This begin to seem too theoretical and complicated. The bottomline is for parents to spend time to affirm their baby when the baby is good and teach him/her how to be good. And the baby listens mostly to the parents whom he/she yearns most for affection. Your affirmation and teaching means a lot to the babies since they do not enjoy crying if they can have a good life without crying. Get it? :)

As shared in my previous posts, early communication with the baby is key. If the baby knows there is a chance to communicate, then the baby need not cry or at least would cry only after failing to communicate. After lots of eye contact and body language, Haruka began to understand the concept of Yes and No. Then, I progressed to asking her if she was "happy happy" by emphasizing my smiles and she understood. She would nod Yes or No nowadays if I would ask her that. Knowing that I value her happiness, Haruka began to understand that daddy needs to be happy as well. So I began to affirm her good character by saying orikou (clever child in Japanese) and later calling her "good baby" and "clever" (in English) and now "kuai" (obedient in Cantonese). She hears that from others anyway, so when daddy repeats it she understands better what these common phrases mean. Besides just focusing on the actions of Haruka, I also point to other babies. When other babies are not crying, I affirm them and point to Haruka that the other babies are "good baby". When other babies are walking, I affirm them so Haruka would began to realize that a good baby would spend more effort and energy walking longer distances instead of having her daddy carry a 9 kg baby daily. I even began to affirm animals that Haruka adore. "Look the dog is sleeping, so you should sleep". "Look the panda is eating a lot, and is big. Do you want to touch the button at the lift? You need to eat more like the panda so you can be tall". "You are good baby today. You are not crying. Call "mama" or "papa" instead of crying when waking up". Haruka begins to learn all this and tries to earn my affection or a nice trip outside the home or a hidden sweet that mummy would not give. She is beginning to enjoy the good life by being good. Of course, there will be another chapter where babies become impatient to want to have the good life prematurely like all of us would and that calls for another blogpost.

What are other ways to affirm your baby? For those who do not have children, have you ever considered spending a little time affirming babies when they are good even if they are strangers? It may matter less to the baby compared to their parents' affirmation, but still it means something. And that means you are one step closer to making this world a better place to create more "good life".

(Photos shows Ocean Park Hong Kong which has a higher visitor count than Hong Kong Disneyland and it truly does show a beautiful part of Hong Kong, plus 2 lovely pandas that Haruka adore).

Tip 129: Parent pandemic preparation

The recently announced Swine flu pandemic has seen governments making many proactive preparations to control it. Some governments from developed countries even have drew out action plans years earlier and prepared a good stock pile of medicine as they had forecasted the possibility of a flu pandemic taking place in the near future. As much as the role of a state leader has grown more challenging, so is the burden of a parent. That is because equipped with knowledge in this information age, parents can do their bit to undertake safety precautions. Yeap, the long list of tasks and responsibilities of a parent have grown to not just merely provide for basic food and shelter to our kids. From providing education and the need to revere God to giving constant loving attention, from giving exposure to arts and music to encouraging the love of sports and other hobbies, the list goes on and on. But what can the parent do in regards to recent developments in pandemic? There are actually many practical steps down to rationing one's annual leave to cater for possible children sickness to be able to give the appropriate attention necessary. There will come a time when strict regulations would require children who are sick to be not admitted to nurseries and schools and the parents would have to take leave to care for them (and not trust entirely on their maids either). As population and globalization increase, the world grows weary about maintaining control and there will be more strict regulations that would ultimately affect the parent. Better be prepared than getting stressed out with little resources when the time comes for them.















I still remember an advice a teacher gave to me noticing my gungho attitude to want to seize every opportunity out there. She said,"Health is your best weapon to achieve success". As much as hard work and long hours may sometimes be necessary to get results, there needs to be a sustainable plan to ensure health is taken care of. Sustainability will be a theme that is highlighted more as developed countries push developing countries to adopt safer, ethical, cleaner and pollutant free methods even when developing countries are eager to deliver consistent high growth rates. Hence, as much as a trip by flight is necessary and paid for, there will be global regulations towards only admitting passengers who are in good health. This would mean the parent would need to ensure sufficient sleep and good health care habits for the whole family before important flights. As much as many circumstances are out of our control, safety precautions to avoid falling ill can be taken. For instance, I am beginning to be more mindful these days about Haruka putting her hands into her mouth. Since she now understands when I tell her not to do something, I try to spend more time to remind her. It helps since I carry her when we walk around most places. So I could easily reach out to remove her hands from her mouth and if necessary pull out a sanitized tissue to wipe her. It would be good if Haruka could one day learn how to wash her hands on her own and that would be another lesson daddy needs to teach her. Daddies also need to be checking at the nurseries, playcenters and Sunday Schools, if the teachers are enforcing stricter rules on admitting sick children to the group as there needs to be awareness that such safety and health precautions are more necessary than missing a few days of school. It probably is so much more simpler as a cave man daddy who only need to be concerned about hunting and bringing food back home each day. Now dad needs to also be ready with a sanitized tissue and be expecting it on others, something that's not part of his male instinct probably. Better be prepared, then be inconvenienced or worse, sorry for not taking the necessary precautions.















This may be not known to some, but in 1957-58, the Asian flu pandemic caused 2 million deaths globally and in 1968-69, the Hong Kong flu killed 1 million people globally. This is enough warning to have that sanitized tissue. Any daddy carrying it please leave a comment.















(Photos show more photos of Haruka's first Macau trip to Largo do Senado, the replica buildings near Sands and Babylon casino and finally the Venice like canals that even have gondola rides with gondoliers singing O Sole Mio (My Sun in Neapolitan/Southern Italian language) at the Venetian Macau which is the world's largest single casino resort and Asia's largest single structure hotel building).

Tip 128: A Miso a day for longetivity

Nope, I do not drink a bowl of miso soup every single morning, not these past few months at least since I have been travelling and adjusting to new cities. Though, I try to have it as often as I can. Its especially timely to have a miso soup on a cold day, or after working all night in the cold of the night, a warm miso soup comes handy to prevent a cold. You could feel the warm miso immediately boosting your immune system as you drink it. Its health benefits are especially high for women, where it helps to regulate the hormone estrogen in women and cuts the risk of breast cancer and tumors. It's no wonder then that the Japanese who drink a bowl or more a day record one of the highest in longetivity. That together with a diet rich with grain and fish. The best part about miso soup is that it's quick and easy to cook, hence no excuse not to try it. There need not be many ingredients, just miso paste, katsuobushi and sea weed or tofu. Heat up the water, but not to boiling level and add the ingredients and mix it. It could take as quick as 15 minutes for a bowl of nutritious sustainance for the day.

I have to admit that initially I miss my mother's home cooked soup that requires 2 hours boiling a stock of meat, more than the instant miso soup. I have grown up with these chicken or herbal soup since young and have the mentality that the 2 hour boiling ordeal churns out more nutritious soup to the body. These chicken soup definitely have their health benefits. But the method of how miso is manufactured through stringent Japanese quality control and age old tradition, together with the simplicity of preparing it makes for a more replicable bowl of nutrition each day, than boiling different sets of ingredients over long periods of time. This is my theory anyway. The proof of the pudding is of course, the healthy greying population in Japan. Besides just soup, miso can actually be used as an ingredient to cook many other dishes. More popular Japanese recipes include miso marinated grilled/fried fish and miso stir fried vegetables, but one can really be creative by putting a spoonful in any cooking to add flavor. Also, many out of Japan may not know that there are many varieties of miso from different prefectures of Japan using different ingredients. One day, I do plan to start a business to popularise miso by starting a chain of Japanese restaurants with a menu of home cooked dishes served by friendly family like staff, with a blend of Okinawan delicacies and an easy going ambience with the theme of Okinawan beaches. Though to kick start a successful business requires strong capital reserves and reliable human resource and that's another blogpost to come hopefully. Before that day, let's drink to health.

Any of you already trying a bowl of miso soup regularly or sometimes? Would you like the concept of Japanese home cooked nutritious dishes as opposed to elegant cold raw Japanese dishes? :)

(Photos show a day trip to Macau at the ruin of St Paul, the garden at Macau town hall, St Francis garden and playground, and a large aquarium at Grand Lisboa hotel. Photos of Venetian and the Sands in next blogpost).

Tip 127: New friends and toys at playgroups

A crawling baby/walking toddler loves to explore new play environments. It is through such exploration and play that the baby develops his/her mental faculty. It could be possible that bringing a baby to new playgroups, as opposed to a daily 9-5pm routine at the same childcare center allows the baby to develop a sense of adaptability, courage, curiosity and adventure. These could be the very characteristics necessary for children in the new global age. Even just 1-2 hours a day, on a frequency of 2-4 days a week is sufficient to fuel the interest in the baby to look forward to go to a playgroup to learn something new always. Usually, kids in such playgroups are more happy to meet new friends since they are not bored at the place and come each time with good expectations to play. It is such happy environments that further stimulates learning and encourages the baby to inculcate new positive habits.



As shared previously, Tomomi prefers a home near to a park and playground where she would take Haruka daily if the weather is good. Besides going to the park, Tomomi takes Haruka to the playcenter/playgroup. In London, she would take Haruka to the Ideastore (term used for library) two times a week to play for free for 2-3 hours then have lunch with me since the Ideastore is near to my office. In Hong Kong, the free public playcenter at the library has very tight schedules with a long queue of parents, maids and grandparents waiting. So, its only possible to play for 1 hour, 2-4 days a week. In Tokyo, we previously joined to a government playcenter 5 minutes from our home for just 1500 yen (USD$15) a year and there is unlimited visits as there are less children in Japan. I have found all these playcenters are very helpful to Haruka in playing new toys in large space and meeting other babies. In Tokyo, Tomomi could make new friends with other mummies and so is London as the mothers are friendly there. In Hong Kong, the short play period does not help and parents either could not speak English or are more shy to start conversations with each other. Nevertheless, these different playcenters have different toys and notice boards in different languages which I think Haruka is loving to learn as well.












Do you send your children to other playcenters/playgroups besides their usual routine? Do you think it helps to bring new passion to playing?

(Photos show two of the videos of a session at the Idea store, Canary Wharf which Haruka watches over and over again, Haruka playing at the Hong Kong toy library at the Hong Kong Central Library, Causeway Bay and a moment of reflection as Haruka takes the ferry to Kowloon from Hong Kong island).

Tip 126: Immersing in nature

We are increasingly living in a dense concrete jungle and even in our private place, we surround ourselves with technological gadgets and human altered articles such as plastic and glass. Most of us who live in highly populated cities would have to put up in high rise apartments with little greenery. I thought to myself, such is life. Yet, I am beginning to see the gems of wisdom of my wife who was brought up in a peaceful island south of Japan, Isigaki, Okinawa in a family of fishermen. We need to regularly expose our young children to serene and clean nature, as unspoilt as possible. Children are growing up in an environment where electronic buttons are touched more often than clean sand, television and computer graphic displays are more often seen than a scenery of clear skyline without buildings, and music from CDs or videos are often heard more than the rustling sound of tree leaves brushed by wind or sound of crickets and cicada behind tree shrubs. Could this be just our Asian mentality that work comes first over relaxation and getting in touch with nature? I was working in London as well as visited Paris and see crowds of Europeans lying down on the green grass to feel the breeze and face the blue skies on weekends or even afternoons on weekdays. Yet, many of us fill our little free time being transported from our home in an aircond car or crowded train into another aircond enclosure of a large shopping complex or cinema and never even seen the blue sky once. Would immersing in nature teach new lessons to our young of sustainability and the simple pleasures of nature that require little efforts to acquire but mere contentment? That in nature, we can see the Creator God who created this earth, since often times we are more familiar with the many gadgets created by humans.























Upon setting foot in Hong Kong, I was blessed to see blue skies on my first day, but that did not last. But recently, I realized that there are quite some fairly good beaches in Hong Kong that is just less than an hour from the city center. The soft and fine sand at Clearwater Bay beach, Sai Kung, New Territories is easily accessible by public transport and offers an eyeview of mountains and skies without any view of concrete skyscrapers. Stanley Beach is a nice spot too since it is also close to good food and markets, but the beach does not give too much of a feeling of closeness to nature. It is amazing that if we do try to look for nature, we can find it. I was a little doubtful in the beginning that Hong Kong being close to the pollution of China can have anything to offer. In fact, there are many nice trekking trails and nice beaches close to the city center compared to Tokyo. I found that a handful of beaches in Hong Kong are even the best among China and Taiwan, though they are far from world standard or close to the Okinawan beaches. I believe that if we make an effort to search, we can find nature where ever we are, though most of the time, we got too lazy or too occupied or absorbed with the existing routine that we do not seek after this solace. Nature does wonders to us and our children. I think even babies can feel the impact and difference nature offers. When searching for an apartment, my wife requested that it be close to a large park with many trees and I now understand the effects this can offer in the mist of the cramped and dense city we live in. I also know that when we seek, we shall find, especially with a little prayer in our hearts to God who so richly seeks to bless us when we seek to glorify Him and His creation.












What do you think? Is nature really that important and how often do you seek to immerse yourself in nature?












(Photos show St Stephen's beach near to Stanley market and bottom 2 photos show the soft sandy beach and clear waters at Clearwater Bay second beach).