Tip 249: Learning right/wrong early

It is amazing how innocent a baby is. They smile in their sleep so often. They have no worries or cares. Occasionally, they do of course cry for milk, but they have no concern whatsoever. Yet, I believe this begins to change when they begin to recognize their parents and develop an attachment towards them.

The baby's self identity begins to develop as they understand the concept of self and others, as well as the close family circle who cares for them more lovingly. Their curiosity develops and so will the ability to discern right and wrong. The first sense of right and wrong is when the baby decides what is the right or dangerous position to avoid pain or to enjoy comfort. The baby will try out different positions and learn its surroundings and understand its pain receptors. As they esteem their parents who feed them, they begin to attribute trust if their parents will further teach them how to enjoy more comfort or avoid danger.

The crucial window to teach right and wrong starts when the baby observes you and develops trust. This I believe can happen as early as 4 months old. The baby may not respond to any teaching, but they may remember. Start by teaching a body language for yes or of approval, such as by nodding your head and smile. For negative or undesirable behaviour, shake your head, frown or signal your finger or palm to demonstrate disapproval. Do this whenever you want to encourage or discourage a certain behaviour.

You can try it when the baby cries or when the baby wants to taste a certain food even if the baby seem not to understand. When you start using these body languages early, the baby will have already learnt them. When it comes to the time when the baby crawls, these body languages will be very useful to discourage the baby from going to certain areas. Or when the baby wants milk or food, they could express it to you by herself even if she does not speak yet.

I was pleasantly impressed one day when Sayaka at 6 months old, nods her head when she saw me eating a banana. By being able to express herself, her self esteem improves as she feels happy being able to communicate even without speaking or developing a vocabulary yet other than papa or mama.

She also begins to associate the word No as opposite to Yes, and would stop any undesirable behaviour slowly when I begin to express disapproval. When daddy can communicate with baby, it is the best feeling ever.

(Photos show the girls at a birthday party, scenes from the Singapore Art Museum and Sayaka's first mirror room experience there).

Tip 248: Invisible hand that protects

I am thrilled to be part of 8 months old Sayaka's developments. It is the same too for Haruka. Just that it feels like a new beginning again whenever you are involved in caring for a baby.

There is always so much awe and marvel at how babies challenge their growth boundaries and explore into the next level of learning. This is especially so if you are actively there with your baby and letting go of your fear, but lovingly prompt the baby to explore their potential. Even though the hand is not there holding the baby every step and movement, the hand is always ready. There is also a strong element of faith that the baby will be fine and even do better if daddy lets her explore, while keeping an eye on her. This is exactly how our Father in Heaven watches over us. God has immense love for each of us and never leaves us alone. Yet, many times, we are allowed to test the boundaries when we have developed the necessary resilience to survive hardships and temptations. By not restricting our freedom, we learn on our own our mistakes and understand love and grow stronger.

Same goes for Sayaka. I may be an extremely bold daddy. I would let her sit up on her own even if there is a risk of her falling.

I have watched over her before and knew of her steady ability to balance herself and not fall. I know that even if she falls, it is within a height that is safe for her to incur just some minor pain.

When I am at a public place, others would look with disbelief or worry if the small baby would hurt herself if she falls. Yet, I let her on her own.

It is amazing that by doing so, she is learning so much more quicker. Her bone structure strengthens faster and she develops a firmer posture.

If I had over protected her, she may not have such an opportunity to develop her posture and strength. I wonder if she feels my invisible hand such that I feel His.

(Photos show the girls at the Singapore Botanical Garden and the Singapore Art Museum).