Tip 206: Stir child's curiosity

As a dad, nothing makes me happier than to see my child grow and develop well to her fullest potential. Haruka is only 2 years old, but she can speak and understand 2 languages, memorize new phrases that she hears for the first time and learn new methods of doing things by following instructions. The other day, I taught her how to greet someone in Korean, and after 10 minutes she could remember the phrase "Anyeong Haseyo", which means good day in Korean. I attribute all this to constant communication with Haruka by me and my wife. One particular method of communication is my constant excitement and enthusiam that I share with Haruka when we have our regular walking sessions.

Children are by nature curious. A baby with good vision after 2 or 3 months is constantly looking around her surroundings to observe new faces and new moving objects. Like a kitten, a baby would be playful with various objects. As they grow taller and walk, they try to play with the door knob, the telephone or the computer. When they finally operate something like how their mum or dad operates it, they feel a sense of accomplishment that they are as smart as the people around them. Yet, at a younger age around 1 year old, parents can assist by pointing out various interesting phenomenon happening around the baby. This would sharpen the baby's observation skills, which in turn increases curiosity and the desire to answer the many Why questions which leads to learning.

I would for instance constantly point to the leaves that are moving in the midst of strong wind. Or to the twinkling star on a clear night sky. Or point to a dog faraway which we would see later as we walk on that path. When I noticed Haruka could understand more, I begin to ask her why would the leave move. And Haruka answers "because the wind is strong". If she does not give me an answer, I would give her the answer, which helps her to repeat this form of response the next time. As Haruka gets more observant as she turns 2, she in turn points to me all these phenomenon and explains to me what is happening. Many kids may only do this when they turn 3, but because of the constant communication I have with Haruka, she could do it much earlier and in turn learn much faster than many children. It is true that kids these days are much more talented and smarter due to the many opportunities the parents expose their children to. They join art and music classes when they are much younger than their parents. One thing that a parent can do besides taking them to all these classes is to stir the child's enthusiasm level. When the child is excited to learn and understand reason, they can absorb more when they go to school and other training.

(Photos show Haruka with Santa, at a clown session along Orchard road, at the best dressed building of Christmas 2009 showcasing Tanglin Mall's decoration made of recycled items, near a large mooncake exhibit near to Chinatown, with a glued giraffe fugirine at a Lego shop and at an interesting ball fountain outside a restaurant that Haruka was fascinated with).

Tip 205: Identify the wisdom in traditions

Haruka was back in Malaysia for the Christmas holidays. It was the first time she met her great grandmother who is 86 years old. I thought it was good for Haruka to build relations with her extended family, yet later I realized it could not be as ideal as I hoped for. There was the language barrier. My grandmother was born in Malaysia before getting married to my grandfather who hailed from Guangdong. Eventhough, my grandmother had less Chinese roots since she lived her whole life in Malaysia, she did not attend school as girls then were barred from going to school by their fathers. So, my grandmother could not speak English to Haruka and she thought it would be difficult to play with Haruka. That was until I saw photos of Tangyuan in the local newspaper announcing that the next day on 22 December 2009 was the Winter Solstice Festival. It was an opportunity for Haruka to knead Tangyuan with her great grandmother.

Traditions have been introduced by the elders for many decades or centuries with careful thought on how traditions can instill noble values and bring people together. Societies in the past do not have so much convenience and mobility to keep in touch easily. Traditions such as the Dongzhi is a good time for many to make the effort to travel the distance to knead rice flour together to make as many round dumplings as possible as flour was not expensive previously. It also instills patience as a good dumpling is knead with love and lots of attention to detail to ensure its round and chewy. The glutinous rice flour needs to have just the right amount of water, else it will be too dry for kneading or too wet to hold a smooth round shape. If hundreds of balls are made, patience is required and a desire to want to maintain good standards may warrant kneading the balls over and over by reducing the size and rekneading if its too large or too small. Like the Japanese, the Chinese too had many traditions emphasizing the need to put attention to detail.

Nowadays, we can easily ready made Tangyuan knead by factories or vendors in the market, but nothing beats participating in the traditions and reaping the benefits if we identify with the wisdom behind it. Do it - it takes effort, time, inconvenience and unnecessary stress, but there is good in many traditions.

(Photos show Haruka with her Malaysian great grandmother at our home in Petaling Jaya, Malaysia and Haruka with her Malaysian grandmother at the Singapore zoo and Clarke Quay riverside when she came to visit my new Singapore home. Also, Haruka's first hawker center food. The best we tried in our first 2 weeks in Singapore was the Zion Road hawker center opposite Great World City, Tiong Bahru which is clean and has lots of food variety).

Tip 204: Year End greeting cards bring good tidings

In Japan, there is a tradition to send postcards with photos of the family to all relatives and friends at the end of each year. The greeting card is personalized as the recipients could see faces of the sender if they have not seen the person for 1 whole year. It is also very convenient since the cost of postage is merely the cost of a postcard. The Japanese post office even offers a service of providing a few graphic images or postcard design frames on their do-it-yourself postcard computer for the sender to customize the cards before they upload a photo and specify the number of cards they want to purchase. The cards come with stamps readily printed, so there is only the need to write the address down and put it in the post box.

I did exactly the same recently. Though, it was less convenient when done outside Japan. One year ago, I have gathered a list of a few hundred addresses of relatives, church members, ex colleagues and classmates. This was actually not such a difficult task since I compiled a list when delivering wedding invitation cards. The hard part was finding a printer that could print a postcard with customized designs. There were none. The closest I found was a photoshop that printed photos with customized design, but the photos were not water resistant. Then, I found a photo with water resistant features, but the printer had limited design for the card. I decided then to spend 1-2 days customizing the design using a graphic software and finally, got 100 cards printed after negotiating the price for it.

The results: Splendid! A card is a proactive way to connect with people after not staying in touch for a while. It allows people to remember our names and the names of our family members (especially when it is a foreign Japanese name). It is a simple way to show appreciation to the people who have previously touched our lives, without spending too much to make the recipient guilty or indebted and thereby causing an awkward situation. My major high of the day was when an 85 year old church member called me up when she received the card. She said the card made her feel happy. I told her that I would see her this week at church and we could talk more. She shared that she would be at home instead, since she had a fall 2 weeks ago. If I am free, I would pay her a visit with Tomomi and Haruka and nothing beats the joy of having a toddler in the home. Even if I could not make the visit due to the many people I intend to meet this week in Malaysia, I know that my card has already touched one soul.

(If you did not get a card from me, just wait for next year. You are in my thoughts. Photos show Haruka at Singapore Zoo and ION Orchard shopping mall).

Tip 203: Understanding phobia, then reassure

One evening, while walking along a slippery floor beside the swimming pool, Haruka fell with the back of her head hitting the floor. She cried and later I was able to distract her. It was not very painful, but she learnt her lesson. The next day onwards, whenever we went out in the evening, Haruka wanted me to carry her instead of walking by herself. I kept coaxing her to walk by herself, but she kept crying asking me to carry her. It did not matter if it was in a bright shopping complex or out in the streets, she wanted me to carry her. I thought she was being spoiled and cranky. I left her crying, pretended to walk away, but she would not want to walk and I had to carry her.

Another evening, while walking by the same spot where she fell, I noticed she was very insistent for me to carry her. My hands happen to be full, so I gave the excuse that I could not carry her. She cried. I reassured her that if she walked slowly, she would not fall. She thought she had no choice, so she did try to walk slowly and later I carried her after a while. The next evening, she again cried and wanted me to carry her when we were walking at the spot she fell. Then, I reassured her and reasoned to her that it will be fine if she walked slowly. I reminded her that she did well last evening. Haruka uttered to herself that she needs to walk slowly. I praised her that she did well and there is nothing to fear. She did not cry anymore and was her fun self when she walked away from that spot.
















This episode taught me that phobias can easily develop through any of our life events. Yet, at those crucial moments, someone need to be there to reassure us. We may need to make baby steps slowly and someone needs to be patient with us. Yet, it helps to have someone encourage us that we are making progress. We begin to turn our attention away from the fear, but to be realizing that it is not so difficult after all. We begin to build our self esteem that we can do it and we can be proud of ourselves for overcoming the fear. It helps to have someone praise us for our efforts. That someone can be Daddy. I feel good that I can be there for my child to avoid a phobia from developing.

(Photos show Haruka at the Singapore Zoo).

Tip 202: Learn swimming at an early age

Haruka had her first swim in Singapore. We are excited for her. She adapted to the swimming pool easily. Children below 5 years old or even younger have higher propensity to swim and have little fear of deep waters (especially when using a float). In fact, I know of parents who send their babies swimming below 1 year old and the kids grow up enjoying swimming. The key to swimming is having the parents instill courage and play while swimming. I noticed Haruka learnt swimming by watching the kids swim. It takes too much effort for Haruka to listen to what I say on the need to kick her legs and to not worry too much about swallowing water. She listened a few of my instructions, then as she saw the other friendly kids in the pool swim, she followed. She played with them and she learnt.













Fear is the single issue that causes a barrier in learning and living. This explains why young toddlers can learn so fast, while older children would be worried if they would perform well enough or have developed fears from watching televisions or through their judgement of the situation. I learnt swimming pretty late. I remembered that I would worry if I am swimming the right way and worry if I can do it well like the rest of the people in the pool. After a few dips in the water, my judgement of the dangers of the water would sometimes overwhelm me to discourage me from taking bolder steps to swim at the deeper end. This reduced the learning phase to explore and to enjoy swimming. I could swim now but felt I could have done much better if I had exposed myself to the joy of swimming much earlier.













It is a blessing that countries near to the equator like Malaysia and Singapore have warm weather all year round which opens more opportunity for swimming. Also, land are larger with many condominiums with swimming pools. Its a luxury Haruka did not had when living in Tokyo, London or Hong Kong. She would be able to swim for 1 month in the current service apartment provided by my company, but would have to wait another 1 year before I decide to purchase a condo in Singapore as our next apartment does not have so many facilities. Nevertheless, we are glad Haruka still felt comfortable swimming now eventhough we did not start her earlier. If she ever had a phobia to advance her skills later, she can always view this blogpost to remind her that she can do it.

(Photos show Haruka at the Fraser Place swimming pool where we stayed for our first month in Singapore when we just touched down).

Tip 201: Leverage on many agents

I have arrived at Uniquely Singapore and within 1 week, I thank God that I have found an apartment that I like at the best possible deal. Company provided a 1 month service apartment upon arrival, but even before arrival, I lined up appointments with a few real estate agents. After viewing more than 10 apartments within a long holiday weekend, I found the best that meets my wife's expectations and with a price that is competitive. We will be staying there for the next 1-2 years before I buy my 2nd property, if Singapore fits us and if the price is right.




Some would say that it is best to concentrate efforts and time with just 1 agent. If the agent does not deliver, then change the agent. I do not subscribe to this view. I believe that today's economy is built upon competition and mass production to deliver in good speed. It seems impersonal, but to achieve the best results, we need to work like a machine, mass produce our request and leverage as many agents to provide us with different options to our request. Then, choose the best.












Its probably not easy to be driven when you are with family. Of course, I need to ensure my family is coping well with the move, more than just getting good results. Though, after we have mastered the process, it would not be as stressful. It would seem like a breeze. If it's stressful to the other partner, then the one that feels comfortable with such methodology should do more of the work. Then, both taste the good results. Similarly, the new generation has mastered the Internet, Facebooking and even Twittering. To some, its stressful and too overwhelming to be doing so much and connecting with so many people at any one time. Its a matter of getting used to it. Its a matter of understanding that this is the age of leveraging, mass production and getting results in good speed. If we can't do it, then leverage on someone who can and work together with that person. Of course, we need not be always getting the best deal if we can learn contentment and just go at a pace we are comfortable with. Be joyful and happy always and know that God provide for all our needs.













(Photos show Haruka enjoying our 1 month service apartment at Fraser Place, Robertson Walk Singapore near to Clarke Quay MRT).