Tip 232: Time patience when feeding

It used to be much easier to motivate Haruka when she was just 1 year old. No need for arguing, or shouting, or various schemes and persuasions. Yet, this is part of growing up and spending time with our kids. Mummy is tired after cooking and she has a limit of patience and time in feeding Haruka. After feeding her for a while, mummy decides that Haruka may have had enough as Haruka said she does not want to eat anymore. Usually, Haruka would then play or get ready for bed and not have any more food when she tells her mum she is full. This time, I thought I would take over and do a bit of motivating and coaxing her to eat. To my joy, Haruka finished the whole bowl of dinner including the vegetables and meat which she seldom eat. She probably has never finished eating a whole bowl. So what does it take to feed a child who is close to 3 years old to completion? Time and lots of patience. There is no other way. Besides the quality time spent, there is quantity time that needs to be spent which is so important to monitor the growth of your child. A little more time can do wonders to your kid.














Parents of previous generations would resort to threats or leaving their kids hungry for the night if the kids do not attempt to finish their meals. Kids need a little push at every task including finishing their meals. If the parents have a little time to spare, providing incentives, some stories and explanations to the importance of each food item could propel the child to eat more or dispel any fears towards certain food items in the meals. It helps if the meal is colourful, well decorated and tasty, but if it is not, then it requires more skill on the feeder. Haruka does not like food with textures that are too hard or if the vegetables are not cut into small pieces. So when daddy spends time cutting them or hiding them in between other yummy food that Haruka likes, then she would not notice the mixture of food items. Mummy could have made more efforts to blend certain food items using a blender, but that even would not guarantee that the child would reject the whole meal if the quantity of certain items are too obvious. Hence, the role of the feeder cannot be understated. I would give different persuasions at each small spoonful of food. Sometimes, I preach about the importance of vegetables that can make Haruka looking pretty and strong. She would take one bite. Then, the next round, I will tell her the importance of getting energy for meeting her friends at play. If I run out of sermons, then I will hold a sweet in my hand. Haruka would usually not eat those candy, but keep it in her storage or her bag. (She has learnt this habit from her dad to save for the future or later for admiration of her collection). I would delay giving the incentive as long as I can and try to feed her as many times till she loses interest. Then, I patiently motivate her till the bowl is empty. It is certainly hard work. It may even be deemed as spoiling your kid by giving too much attention. Will they no longer eat if these tactics and incentives are not used in the future? What if daddy or mummy has no time to spare? I was complaining this trait of my mum when I was seeing my mum feeding the kid she was babysitting. I felt my mum need not spoil those children and treat them like prince and princess. Now I understand. I do it myself. I have faith that one day Haruka will develop the joy of eating after she starts finishing her bowls of food. Parenting and love takes tme.














It takes time to inculcate new habits like how the parent polar bear would teach its baby to swim and catch its own fish. Hopefully, after a while, the child will catch these lessons. We can only love and have faith in its power. The time spent will not be wasted. It stands for something, if not just for the name of love. Even if the bowl of food ends up still full and not attempted, despite all the effort in coaxing and persuading.

Yet, still persuade, tell stories, preach and amuse to feed the child. Keep it up. Do not give up. Love no matter what.

(Photos show Haruka at the photo studio posing at the camera. The camera man complimented that she posed very naturally and required the least time for good photo shoots. When she sat down, her eyes was shut instantly. It was a long day and more photos can be seen in the previous blog.).

Tip 231: Keep mother's legs warm

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I got this tip from a Japanese mid-wife when we were in Tokyo prior to Haruka's birth 3 years ago. Tomomi had always wanted natural birth delivery without the use of epidural. Her reasons being that the baby that is delivered without the use of epidural will be more alert of its surroundings. I am a testament of this when I saw Haruka's eyes wide open looking around the delivery room upon her opening her eyes for the firs time. However, the baby's direction inside the womb can affect delivery. If the baby's head is not headed towards the bottom of the womb when nearing the delivery date, a C-section surgery may be performed instead. Also, Tomomi did not want her delivery to be at a Japanese hospital since doctors there were less likely to listen to the preferences of the mother on delivery and her preference was that the delivery be conducted at a certified midwife's place. Three years ago, Haruka was in the opposite direction when she was around 5-7 months in the womb. We were worried then, but the midwife was confident. She asked us to just let nature takes its course. But she said we can do certain things to motivate the baby in the womb to turn to the opposite direction. We listened in disbelief initially, but tried it anyway. In the next visit after 1 month of trying the tip, Haruka turned to the favorable position!














According to the midwife, the baby inside the womb can fill the temperature of the stomach and body. When mummy is taking cold shower, the baby can sometimes shiver in cold depending if the baby's body is touching the lining of the womb and stomach. When the baby starts to learn to move/swim inside the womb, the baby will naturally choose the most cozy position. When Haruka was still in the womb, it was spring time in Tokyo and was a little chilly. The midwife mentioned that maybe mummy's legs were not as warm as the stomach since there were more clothing covering the stomach than the legs. The baby would thus move towards the top where it was warmer. The midwife advised Tomomi to wear up to waist length socks and additional socks when going outdoors. She also advised Tomomi to take warm showers to keep the baby feeling warm. The midwife taught Tomomi a few pre-natal exercises and advised her to have a pail of warm water to soak her legs when she was feeling cold. When I told this to the Singaporean doctor who is seeing us now for our second child, he said that it was purely a natural process and those steps were not necessary. Our second daughter was also in the opposite direction between 6-7 months in the womb. The Singaporean doctor did not give any advice but just mentioned the difficulty of natural birth if the baby did not turn. The doctor mentioned that there is medical procedure to turn the baby, but usually that is not tried since there is risk involved. So, we tried the midwife tip again this time and within the next month of visit, the doctor reported that the baby's head has turned towards the bottom of the womb.















Even in the womb, babies are using their brains and instincts well. :) This is the marvel of creation. If you check with chinese medicine or other traditional doctors, they may also try a few methods such as acupuncture on the feet by burning joss sticks or other items at pressure points of the feet. I believe the intentions are the same to stimulate warmth in the feet, so the baby would notice the difference in temperature. It has worked twice for us and we will surely try it a third time if we are blessed by God again.














Have you heard of this tip of keeping the legs warm, so the baby will turn in the womb? :) Do share.














(Photos show the process involved for Haruka to wear a kimino and make up for the Shichi-Go-San studio photo taking. More photos and description of the process in the previous blogpost).

Tip 230: Shichi-Go-San Studio Photo

Shichi-Go-San simply means Seven-Five-Three and is a rite of passage celebration for children in Japan observed around November 15. The ceremony is to celebrate the growth of children into healthy, strong children since in the past around the Heian period (794-1185) , there were young children who faced various health hurdles in their growth. Girls who are three and seven years old, and boys who are three and five years old would dress up. In the past, children in Japan were only allowed to let their hair grow at age 3 years old onwards and thus this celebration to mark their age. It is customary in Japan to take studio photos and then offer prayers in a shrine, but we only resorted to a photo package of SGD240. I am sure this wonderful experience is a good addition to Haruka's childhood memories.

Haruka followed various steps in wearing a kimono, did her first make up and was treated like a princess for a day. The process started when Tomomi saw an advertisement in the weekly Japanese magazine she read. We then went to the home of the Japanese who own the wardrobe of Japanese kimono for kids to try the ones we like (and asked Haruka for her opinion as well). She tried various kimono and even Western dress. But daddy decided that we will just select a minimal photo package and not need to have too many varieties of dresses at this stage. We can have that when we later do a family package when Haruka is close to seven years old and her baby sister is past 3 years old. We decided on the photo taking date and time and waited anxiously for Haruka's "big day".















That day came and it was a very exciting day not only for us, but a few other families who waited in line for their kids at the make up queue. This Japanese business started 10 years ago and have established a good system. They were very precise in the time that we should arrive. We came a little early and had to wait for Haruka's turn to curl her hair and put the Japanese hair clips. Then, an elderly Japanese lady (obaachan) dressed Haruka up with care and praised Haruka in Japanese. I think this was a meaningful Japanse tradition. It is akin to having a relaxing soothing Indian barber hair cut for men in Singapore/Malaysia/ India. The dressing up starts with the under kimono (jubam). Then the outer kimono and little padded jacket without sleeves will be worn on top. Haruka also wore the split toed socks (tabi) and the Japanese platform sandals (zori).














After dressing up, Haruka had her first lip stick and blush on her cheeks. Then, she was ushered to the photo taking studio and the staff praised Haruka for her photogenic ability requiring very little coaxing unlike other kids her age. I think this is partly due to daddy's camera practice with her and her various experiences across the globe having people praise her for candid shots. When she was young, strangers would come up to Haruka and ask for a photo of her to be taken. The grin of Haruka on the day she tried out the different dresses and the day of actual photo taking was priceless.

Check out another blog I write: http://lifenewcreation.blogspot.sg/ to find about keeping your family healthy.














(Photos show Haruka trying out the various dresses. Photos of her make up and step by step kimono wearing process is on the next blogpost).

Tip 229: Lifestyle engineering for sustainability

What is a sustainable lifestyle? To me, a lifestyle that is sustainable is adaptable to different cultures, different income levels, different environments, so that for better or worse, for poorer or richer, we are able to live together joyfully. The things we have and the comforts we enjoy, ought not to condition the way we live such that the family falls apart when it faces a situation of poverty or war or sickness.














Yet, the family if given a choice will always yearn to live within its comfort zone. Hence, the need for a little engineering to create situations when we move out of the comfort zone. Quite a handful of jargon in this blogpost, enjoy.














I do not play God in determining the circumstances of my family. Yet, each of us make different choices in life. We switch channels on our remote control or decide what we wish to eat for the day. Do we constantly choose convenience, comfort, speed and material enjoyment all the time? Or do we sometimes choose that which is strenuous, uncomfortable, slow and simple? By adapting to different situations, do we grow better as a person? Or should we be spoilt with convenience and comfort, till we be obese couch potatoes choosing to live for ourselves alone?














It is actually not as complicated. It is as easy as choosing to walk or take the bus when you can conveniently flag a taxi. You may probably hear a few complaints from your wife and child in the beginning, but after a while, they see the value and fun in taking time exercising and begin to build their stamina towards a little hardship. Same goes for carrying and wearing your baby when you can use the stroller. Or delaying purchases and seeking good bargains and avoiding impulse buying all the time. There is a time for everything. Time for hardship and time to splurge and treat ourselves to some comfort. Yet, often we forget to schedule some slow time, some hardship and inconvenient time to make us better stronger people. The key is not making quick decisions for easy way out (unless you get free gifts or free help). Try out the hard way. Only when you have tried it and know your limits, you can consider other options in the decision making process. Then, aim for those limits again at another time. Surprisingly, it may find less resistance and be a breeze for the whole family then.

The bible in James 1:2-4 states, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything". It would be ideal for a family to not lack in anything and develop the necessary perseverance to sustain through time. Of course, God's grace be with us as we grow. And if we lack anything, may we remember to seek after Him for wisdom.

(Photos show Haruka at Singapore Universal Studio, a treat after bearing with daddy's whims and fancies :)

Tip 228: Withdraw Japan Pension Lump Sum

Check out another blog I write: http://lifenewcreation.blogspot.sg/2013/05/how-resveratrol-and-red-wine-activate.html to find about a new opportunity to do business anywhere besides building your family's health and wellbeing.

I blogged previously on the need for daddies to know daily business processes in a new land, as well as the cash gift I received from the Japanese ward office. After leaving Japan, I applied for the lump-sum withdrawal of my Japanese pension and after waiting for over a year, I was pleasantly surprised that I got 1.2 million yen in my bank account.

I will attempt to outline the steps that any foreigner ought to do to take advantage of this privilege of being a foreigner in Japan. It is a proud statement from the Japanese government that they do not need outsider's help to support the local aging society.

First off, to qualify for this scheme, you need to have previously contributed to the pension scheme for a minimum of 6 months and have received a blue book. For full time employees, pension is automatically deducted from your salary every month. When you leave Japan permanently, no longer own any address and submit your gaijin card at the airport, you are entitled to submit an application form by mail from outside of Japan to the pension office to withdraw a maximum of 36 months of your pension contribution.

This seems pretty straight forward, but knowing the Japanese bureaucracy, there are many do's and don'ts in order to get your withdrawal approved faster.

The fastest approval can take 2 months, while the average is around four and a half months according to this website. The withdrawal form stated that the office would take 6 months to process the application.

Mine took much longer as the pension office wrote to my Malaysian address through snail mail stating that my passport photocopy was not clear and that I should contact the ward office where I was previously registered since they have no records of my departure. The reason being I did not surrender my gaijin card. I had not done so because I had wanted to keep my marriage visa active since it was still valid for another 1.5 years. I then wrote a Japanese letter to the ward office and the pension office stating my departure date clearly and proof of residence outside Japan. Alas I was successful and managed to find a way around Japanese bureaucracy.

If you pay attention to detail when filling the form, you do not need agents to do the job for you and can get the payment quick. First, decide if you want the payment made to a bank in Japan or a bank overseas. Whichever the case, you need a bank stamp/seal on the form as proof that the bank has endorsed your application. If your bank does not have a seal, then get them to write a letter identifying your bank account.

As I routed payment to my Japanese bank account, I had to bring the form to the bank before leaving Japan. I still use my Japanese bank to pay my mortgage, plus I would not lose any exchange rate fees routing to a bank overseas. The pension office would not know the existence of your properties if you do not state it in your application form.

You can download the lump-sum withdrawal form from the official website here. English instructions are stated clearly so you need not call the office in a language other than Japanese :)

As I blog, I just discovered that the 20% tax imposed on the payment can be claimed in full from the tax office. It can take as quick as 1 week, but you need to provide the pension payment receipt, as well as a Japanese bank account. Foreigners have been advised to get a representative living in Japan to act on their behalf, but I will try to write to the tax office with my Japanese bank details. If I am successful, I will report on its progress.

You can download the Japanese form for tax refund of your pension. Address of all tax offices in Tokyo can be found on their website here.

Check out another blog I write: http://lifenewcreation.blogspot.sg/ to find about a new opportunity to do business anywhere based on stem cell technology.

(Photos show Haruka a little moody in the hot weather with daddy's lingering photo taking at the Singapore Universal Studios).