Tip 64: Have faith in love

In being a loving husband and daddy, I am beginning to understand the power of love and life. Through love, this universe was created by God. Understanding love and acting by it, surely brings life and brings up the family beautifully. I wrote earlier about sacrifice being something that need not be burdensome even if it may cost us much, as its done through love. The weight is lifted of by hope and faith. In the bible, it states that faith is the assurance that what we hope for will come about and the certainty that what we can not see exists. It is truly burdensome when we have so many chores to run, new stress that piles up over and over, yet if we do all this in love, we can have faith that we are doing something good. And that, it is all that matters. No worries are necessary. No regrets or self pity either. Just faith and soon we will taste victory and joy that our labor of love is not in vain.

Being a parent can be a handful. If we love, we would think of a thousand things to do. We would feel discouraged when the other partner is not doing the same thousand things. Yet, we need to constantly remind ourselves that our love is unconditional. We do it out of love. And, we have faith the outcome is beautiful. Baby Haruka may not necessarily understand my love and respond in love. But, as parents, we have faith that we instil beauty in our babies by loving and by our sacrifices. If we can cope, we continue. If we are burdened with stress, we can slow down and relax and remember that we should only do it out of love. I am having faith that our babies would understand one day, that we ought only to do our best. Love. There are so many lessons of love that I am still learning as a daddy. Love is hard work. Yet, love is full of life and power. Its the essence of life. Faith in love, sacrifice out of love and unconditional unselfish love.

Tip 63: Playing with simple toys

Have been busy lately, but I am very glad with Haruka's mental development and she has learnt to be very creative with her playing. This photo shows Haruka in her 5th month playing with towels. We have spoons too and she would feed her "pets" - the stuffed cuddly frogs, bears, dogs. Also, she likes mirrors. We went to a friend's place and our friend had a wide wall mirror in their home and Haruka could crawl and see herself and know its her. She made different reactions in front of the mirror. Babies love mirrors. Its all these simple things that make a baby creative. Not the many toys with push buttons of all kinds that you get from Toys"R"Us. But, simple toys played creatively with daddy through role play or even acting like a clown are the ones that shape creativity in babies.

Its sad that in Japan, space is expensive and I am thinking that the utility gained from a large space is less now, and is thus saving and planning my move back to my home country or to Australia or some place for a nice large home with a large garden. Yeap, would be buying my second property in maybe the next 3-10 years. With less space now, there is no space for an indoor baby car, baby kitchen cabinet set with ovens for baby cooking and lots of other gadgets these days. We have a playcenter nearby 10 minutes walk away, where we only pay 2000 yen (USD$20) annual membership and have a large play area with even a baby oven set. Just around 20 children go there at any time with more than sufficient place to play. Tomomi tries to take Haruka there daily unless bad weather does not permit it. But, whenever I am back home, I try to read to Haruka with lots of expressions, feed the "pets" and make them come to live and Haruka learns all this role play. :)

(Photo shows Haruka at 5 months old (top) and 13 months old (bottom)).

Tip 62: Video of baby can amuse baby

This video was taken when Haruka was 3 months old. One evening, Haruka was in a singing mood and I got my phone and captured 4 videos of baby gibberish. This one has the best tune of all. I previously learnt from a Japanese program about the tip of playing back videos of your baby crying to stop them from crying. I have learnt recently that playing back videos can also amuse your baby. I immediatelly showed the video when Haruka was 3 months old and kept her curious back then. Recently, played it back again and saved me a few minutes of precious freedom from worrying whether she would crawl to dangerous territories. Yes, videos can amuse babies and maybe even when your kids are adults. Its sad that we daddies did not have the luxury of seeing ourselves as babies in videos as video cameras were a rare commodity decades ago. Its now in every gadget like phones and digital cameras and maybe even digital clothings in the future. So daddies, get ready to capture videos of your cute young baby for yourself, your friends and your kid - even if its just a handful of them ... considering daddies are always busy.

(First 12 seconds of the video had Haruka warming up, but do watch till the end as its just 33 seconds in total. 33 seconds of life of a baby singing with joy. 33 seconds to put a smile in your face and be thankful for life and appreciate and value it more. Thank God for videos, thank God for life!)

Tip 61: Gain from AUD deposits (Forex)

In one of my previous tips, I mentioned about setting up a multi currency account at your bank to make deposits in currencies other than your home currency especially when deposit interest rate yields are not attractive in your country. Recently in one of my term deposits, I made 16,500 yen (USD$154) on a 5 month deposit placed in Australian dollars on a capital of AUD$2000. Thats a handsome yield of around 9% on my capital for just a period of less than half a year. The gains would have been much higher on term deposits of much higher amounts and if I selected financial institutions that offered better exchange rates and term deposit interest rates with no administration fees. I started the deposit around January 2008 when the AUD/JPY exchange rate was 89 dropping from a high of 112 in July 2007 and from a low of 85 in March 2007. Its amazing that currency fluctuations are so high these days and even if one do not take trading opportunities, one can just keep various currencies that offer good deposit interest yields for safe keeping especially if one plans to use those currencies one day. I took a 3 month term deposit then, which matures in March 2008 and later renewed for 1 monthly deposits 2 times. It would have been more worthwhile to have made a longer term deposit of 6 months to 1 year if one feels the exchange rate has dropped to very attractive levels. Recently when the AUD/JPY exchange rate rose to 103, I decided to just lock in on the profits when the Australian central bank mentioned that the Australian economy may be cooling down. My yield of 20% per annum is mainly due to the AUD strengthening, as my deposit interest was just 7% on the 3 month term and 5% on the 1 month term. It surely is better than putting my deposits in the Japanese banks that offer around 0.2% deposit interest rates. This tip mainly emphasizes the point of surveying financial markets to get the most out of your hard earned money else inflation will ensure your savings gets depleted faster than you would have realized.

Many daddies would frown at the risk of forex trading. I was talking to a daddy who was very excited on his new hobby of trading currencies regularly in amounts of thousands and sometimes even on margin. He was already pretty confident since he made very huge profits which now acts as his capital and he would lose nothing should he faced the risk of huge losses. Also, he has already understood how to make stop losses in trading to minimise the risk of losing too much. This can be too stressful for many daddies. I on the other hand was mainly interested to increase my experience in foreign currency and my financial literacy to ensure I got higher deposit yields for my money and also keep some AUD since I plan to make a move there. With rising prices of almost everything, your money today will buy less things in the future. Many may be confident of their good saving habits, but that amount in the bank may not increase too much if the interest rate yield in your country is low or if your currency value is depreciating. Saving and managing expenses well is not enough for a daddy to maintain financial stability these days. One needs to manage yields on your savings and invest wisely and manage risk so that your money grows, yet has little risk of losing them by knowing various alternatives and actions. Reading about financial news is necessary to know the daily happenings such as whether the central bank is doing a good job in maintaining competitive interest rates and whether your home currency would be rising or falling due to the currencies of different countries affected by their different economic growth and inflation situations. I read bloomberg news daily and its actually not too heavy with many difficult terms provided with definitions. I think one needs to be in the know of the financial markets as the coming years will be very turbulent with rising price of oil and the possibility of a new alternative energy replacing oil and turning the current global economy upside down till we find a balance again. Daddies, hold on tight and ride the waves of a financial storm. But thats what daddies do - be it fishing in rough storms or fighting the wild beasts outside the caves. The way to excel and not be harmed by the storms is by learning how to do it better everytime. Japanese have a term called kaizen - continuous improvement.

Tip 60: Round and round the garden like a teddy bear

Nope, we do not have a garden in our home in Tokyo. Nor do our teddy bears play in the garden. But at age 6 month onwards, the baby can already enjoy this nursery rhyme that comes with tickling hand motions. I usually do this nursery rhyme to friendly and playful kids who are aged 3 and above. I would ask them for their palm and begin to sing the nursery rhyme ... then I circle their palm with my index finger and sing Round and round in the garden like a teddy bear. One step ... my index finger moves to their elbow, two step ... my index finger moves to their under arms and then .... tickle you under there ... I would tickle their ribs to make them giggle. They would then want more and give me their palms again and again. Some would respond by asking for my palms too. This is a standard children development test to monitor children developing well to such play motions and responding to do the simple play motion on the adult's palm.

But for babies, they simply begin to enjoy being tickled and enjoy the nursery rhyme that comes with it. Haruka would know that when I say, One step ... I am almost half way to tickling her and she starts to smile. Two step, her smile gets wider and of course, lots of giggles when she is being tickled. She does not respond to tickling me yet, but its amazing that even babies can enjoy this nursery rhyme, since the children's book say this is for 1 year olds onwards. This type of nursery rhyme encourage lots of interaction, communication and play. It helps Haruka to understand what I want to do for her and she expresses herself by smiling and giggling on what she enjoys. Time to go round the garden like a teddy bear, daddies.

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Tip 59: Sacrifice if you love

Been very busy lately trying to do R.I.C.H. and have been working late and back home only by 10pm to make baby sleep or wake up early 5-6am to play with my daughter. At this point, I am sacrificing my sleep for hopefully a temporary period and not sacrificing yet my ambition as welll as my desire to be a good breadwinner. Thought I would blog about some thoughts gathered when cycling home last night (before it slips my mind) which I believe strongly to be a life changing tip - learnt usually as a daddy or in times of great stress and trial. Sacrifice is key to living and loving! Do we need to sacrifice to prove love? Nope. Love means wanting the best for the other, yearns to give unconditionally and expects no sacrifice. But love also displays itself in ultimate unselfish sacrifice when there is a great need for it or when one is overwhelmed in love and duty. So yes, true and deep love always comes with sacrifice either now or the future. Yet, sacrifice is a miraculous and divine concept that when you give of your all, you sometimes may not lose it. Instead, you gain a divine lesson in love and living if not many other blessings to come. What do you cherish most? Would you sacrifice it in the name of love? There is no need to think of it now, but maybe one day, your love would manifest itself to require sacrifice. Yet, when you give, you gain freedom to live more and love more. Such is love and sacrifice.

Last night during my 25 minute bicycle ride home from office, I was pondering about the lessons I have learnt in this past year. I have grown and matured so much. I was particularly reminded of an encounter with God that I had 15 years ago. Then, I was pondering whether to take up a Christian Fellowship chairman position at school and also retain other committee post in the midst of my studies. I was willing to sacrifice my studies and to decline some club positions and the reputation and popularity that came with them. Studies meant a lot to me then, as I was poor and should focus on excelling in my academic achievements to earn scholarships. But, I decided out of love for God to be obedient to His call to lead the Christian Fellowship and be a good leader and friend to young students. At that moment, I had an encounter with God who made a promise that He would not abandon me ever and not forget my willingness to sacrifice to Him. God pointed to me that it was enough to love him and that even by taking the chairman position in Christian Fellowship at school, I need not sacrifice stepping down from the club positions and also my studies would not be affected. It was significant since I had nothing to give, yet gave all. It turned out, I loss nothing at the point of my sacrifice then, yet gained everything including what I could count as blessings up till today. More blessings are to come, yet it comes with understanding what love and sacrifice is. Of course, we need wisdom to distinguish all situations accurately, but faith in the goodness of love and sacrifice never fails even when we do not see instant results. God desires deep love, constant obedience or our decision to turn from our selfish ways to seek after His ways. To a certain extent it requires sacrifice of our old ways and bad habits and sometimes we are prompted to even give up what we truly love. Yet, that's love and is most precious and will never be forgotten as its the most powerful force in life. God says in Hosea 6.6 "I desire obedience, not sacrifice. For you to know Me, not to give me burnt offerings". David said in Psalms 51:16-17 "For You do not delight in sacrifice ... The sacrifices of God are a a broken and a contrite heart." The question daddies may ask is would I sacrifice all to my children and wife? Including my ambitions? Thats a tough question. Maybe one day, the path of sustainability requires me to take care of my health, spend more time with family and sacrifice my ambition. But, for now, I focus on loving and understanding love as much as I can. Sacrifice will follow if there is a need or when one is full of love.

Tip 58: Just do your best R.I.C.H.

I have been tremendously busy and have been lately taking big strides to improve myself by taking up quite impossible challenges. I feel fulfilled that I am learning lots of new things and making big improvements in acquiring new skillsets and even new qualities and methods of working and dealing with people. Though, I also felt too stressed out, challenged and worry that these challenges comes with too huge risk of failing. But, I knew that if I fail, I can try again some place else and would have already acquired those valuable lessons everyone has been telling me previously that I should have improved on. Such is life. Change is hard. Of course, it is fine if one is content in not seeking after ambitions that may look distant and difficult, but if one wants to try to work hard to make improvements to be closer to the ambitions, then daddy just needs to take the risk and undergo stress to learn how to change. Its important though that daddy contains and manages that stress well, be resourceful to look for alternative modes of action should failure be encountered and not make mummy worry too much. Also mummy needs to be supportive that there could be more challenges and some uncertainty if daddy fails. I have realised that many of life's challenges and doing our best to improve ourselves, sums up well in this acronymn R.I.C.H. that I coined up. R.I.C.H = Research, Intercede, Consult, Honestly. Just doing this well and know that you have done your best is enough.

We are all imperfect human beings and have many weaknesses that we can try to overcome and reduce gaps in skillsets and knowledge that we can acquire to improve ourselves. But, the path to improvement may not be as easy as in the school days when one just reads from books, memorizes or understands well the lessons taught. Many tangible knowledge can be learnt by just reading, but many other knowledge that involves soft skills or technical skills requires lots of practice and lots of doing in order to see improvement in conduct and performance. One way to first approach the need to change is to research the area well by self study and checking out resources available in bookshops, libraries and the Internet. The world has changed that you can read a book or use the computer and learn from others be it wanting to improve your speech, your dressing, how you write documents or do a certain kind of lab experiment. There are tonnes of resources and one only needs to manage time well to search the suitable resources that can assist in quick knowledge transfer. As a Christian, I believe in prayer and faith in God guiding us through our life journey if we seek Him. Intercession by oneself and better if accompanied by many others who care for us can move the Hand of God to steer us through our path and sharpen our senses to do what is right. Surely, God do not usually intervene miraculously in everyone's life and surely God wants us to learn many lessons the hard way through trials and hardship, but we can be conscious of our intentions and be sincere to God that we want to change for the better to be a better person for oneself and for others. This noble ambition will be honored by God if it is moving towards a path of less selfishness. I realized God can hold our hand and sharpen our 5 senses to learn better or be more careful in making certain decisions. Next, it is a blessing to be able to consult from people who are kind, mature and intelligent and who have higher skills, experience and knowledge in matters we wish to improve on. Meeting such people are a blessing that we should be thankful for and cherish always. Of course, it will then be our turn to seek to be these kind of people to someone else even in simple matters that we are good at which we ought to share to others. Last but not least, as a daddy, I am realizing the importance of sustainability and the need to be honest. In all dealings, maintain a high level of integrity to keep a good reputation with the people we deal with. Usually we think we can do something dishonest when no one is looking, but the more we do it, the more it becomes a bad habit that eats into our character and attitude. Its important to change the mindset that all dealings need to be carried out honestly for success to follow one day.