Tip 215: Coaxing new habits in a baby

I watched a program about animals and how they cared for their young. A baby seal was with the mother seal on the icy surface, already independently moving around without needing the warmth of the mother. The mother knows that this is the right time to teach the baby to swim in the icy cold water under the ice surface. A hole was made on the ice. The mother seal feels the cold water and dives into the water. Then, it surfaces to look for the baby. It made constant noise for the baby to follow her. Then, it pushes the baby into the cold water and follows it. This is natural parenting. The mother did not think that the baby can swim without persistent coaxing. How else will the baby learn to swim and search for food without her mother teaching it and patiently coaxing the baby the habits needed for survival and living? Who else will the baby learn from? Even if the animals live in packs, they would only follow after their mother. Of course, there are always instances where babies separate from their parents and is cared by another female in the pack, but such is out of the ordinary.














Society has progressed that we think kids can learn on their own. We think others can do the job of caring for our babies. Yet, kids learn best from their parents. Good habits need to be learnt early in childhood, or even while the baby is 1 or 2 years old. Habits such as keeping your toys after play, learning to wait patiently and silently while someone is making a phone call, sitting attentively and listening when others speak instead of playing and distracting other children, saying good morning to everyone even when you are not in the mood, greeting everyone when you enter the home and putting back your own shoes, giving thanks for the food before eating, taking pride in keeping busy such as reading or playing independently or helping mummy in kitchen, smiling when someone looks at you (if the person looks pleasant and safe), knowing what is safe and what is dangerous before doing something or going somewhere. The list goes on and yes, it can be learnt and practiced by a 2 year old. Children may learn all these things by themselves. Yet, if the parent can share them lovingly to the child, the habits stamp a more lasting impact in their lives. If we have time for them, we need not lose our patience and instruct them or scold them. We instead can patiently coax or motivate them to inculcate these values daily. If we feel our children are just not as obedient, then it is ever more a case to spend more time with them. The mother seal definitely would feel anxious if her baby is not learning how to swim. Children will definitely catch this earlier in childhood if they caught it from their parents, instead of from their maid or from their teachers at school. Teachers play an important role as children do look up to certain teachers. But, what if they are none that they look up to or if the children seem to adore TV characters more than exemplary caring adults around them. We, parents need to play that role. If the mother seal can do it due to her God given role, why can't us? Let's do it and make this world a better place.

(Photos show Haruka in Malaysia during the Chinese New Year holidays to visit her grandparents. An uncommon beautiful large well maintained park with wild monkeys at Taman Tun Dr. Ismail, Kuala Lumpur with aunt Oy Mooi who came back from USA and heading to Sabah for good and Haruka's first lion dance).

Tip 214: Enjoying weekly church routine

Haruka now looks forward to going to church. She would ask us at night whether she will be going to church tomorrow. I attribute this to a routine that we inculcate in her early that she enjoys following. Also, the role of caring teachers in the church that made Haruka feel happy going to the church.

From age 2 years old, children begin to develop preferences and routines that they enjoy sticking to. For instance, they may be unhappy if their parents do not read to them at night, if such a routine has been started. The babies have discovered that they can decide which are the activities to fill their lives. They discovered the power of saying no and the power of saying "please, papa". They begin to value certain food and certain activities more than others. Yet, it is at an early age at 1 year old, that they developed these preferences and how to value the different experiences in their lives. Hence, exposing kids early to praise worthy activities, healthy food and noble deeds can yield good returns in the future.

I observe the kids around me. As they grow up, they may prefer to stay home to play playstation or computer games. They may prefer to not step out of the comfort of their homes to go to church. They may find Sunday School and church boring as they may not have developed an appreciation of such activity and not enjoyed a church routine.













Hence, parents play a role to develop such a love in their kids early. Hopefully, this love will continue to blossom such that the foundation will never be shaken should the child be exposed with other competing pleasures and wants in this world, as well as when the child moves to a new place where such familiarity and routines are different.













I thank Mariko Tanzawa-sensei for being caring for all her students in her class. Haruka looks up to her for teaching her every week. She mentions the teacher's name at home and I am sure her stories will continue in length as she becomes more and more talkative and spends more time to reflect on her past day as she grows up.













It is not easy for daddy to find a church that would suit mummy and baby. It is probably less important for daddy to find a church that fits him as he feels happy as long as the whole family is well grounded in a weekly church routine. I thank God that He has given me a strong foundation in my youth, so I can lead my family to do the same.













(Photos show Haruka practicing as a sheep in a Christmas play and a Kid's party/camp at church member's condo on labour's day holiday)