This blog is full of smiling photos, yet reality is that marriage comes with many challenges. Yet, it is how we want to view it that makes us difference.
We
can see it as merely colourful differences that is inevitable no matter who we marry, or we can see it as mountains of impossible differences that we need to bear. If we do, then it becomes a challenge. But, why see it as challenges and battles? Rather, embrace the differences. Appreciate them. See the positive side of it. It could be the only way to be happy. When we renew our minds to embrace and love beyond our will, we learn to love. After a while, it does not seem like a challenge since it is already part of us.
can see it as merely colourful differences that is inevitable no matter who we marry, or we can see it as mountains of impossible differences that we need to bear. If we do, then it becomes a challenge. But, why see it as challenges and battles? Rather, embrace the differences. Appreciate them. See the positive side of it. It could be the only way to be happy. When we renew our minds to embrace and love beyond our will, we learn to love. After a while, it does not seem like a challenge since it is already part of us.
Multi-cultural marriages add to the colour of existing differences in gender, personalities and upbringing. The values and happiness we share in 2 decades of living with our parents as a child does form our ideals. When we are marrying a "foreigner", we are definitely being introduced to different ideals. I will just share 2 simple examples.
I
am quite a spontaneous person, who seeks to enjoy the moment to seize whatever I could get at any given second. I am too much to the extreme and should already slow down as a daddy to learn to prioritise. This of course conflicts with the Japanese mentality that requires proper planning and slow and careful response to any given change in the environment. So Tomomi gets stressed. Yet, she is beginning to also learn to express her dissatisfaction and warn me to slow down and at the same time, be accepting some of the thrills of some of my joy rides.
am quite a spontaneous person, who seeks to enjoy the moment to seize whatever I could get at any given second. I am too much to the extreme and should already slow down as a daddy to learn to prioritise. This of course conflicts with the Japanese mentality that requires proper planning and slow and careful response to any given change in the environment. So Tomomi gets stressed. Yet, she is beginning to also learn to express her dissatisfaction and warn me to slow down and at the same time, be accepting some of the thrills of some of my joy rides.
In turn, I was a little disa
ppointed that Japanese dishes are quite boring. Eventhough, I was not rich when growing up, I had a nice table of different variety of dishes everyday. When my mum was busy, she decided to have a caterer bring cooked dishes to the home as it is not expensive in Malaysia. Somehow, this ideal stuck in my mind and affected my image of Tomomi being less of a dedicated wife to cook up a kitchen full of food scent. Yet, I also begin to accept that Japanese focuses on 1 main quality di
sh, instead serving too many. It is important that I appreciate Tomomi's efforts more. Plus, we would be moving closer to my "home" soon. Patience is key. If we could love, it means we have battled our self-will and that's the main challenge. Not the other person or the problem - but the challenge within ourself to love more. To be patient and seeking to appreciate and embrace the differences. Only good can come out of it. 
(Photos show the dolphin and beluga/white whale/sea canary show at the Hakkeijima SeaParadise).
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