Tip 190: Reasoning your way to a 1 year old

After 1 year old, the child grows bold to express his/her feelings and begin to be stubborn and always quick to yell "No!" or cry. Why did the child do that? Because they wanted their way and thought that playing tantrums can control the outcome and probably had succeeded on some occasions in the past. It is quite natural for parents to feel their authority challenged and feel that it is important to teach the baby as early as possible that tantrums do not pay. Depending on the child's personality, some would yield to such stern teaching. Some children however would want to wage a battle with daddy or mummy till both tire out. I blogged previously about motivating using positive words and actions that a 1 year old could understand. The next step is to tailor this approach through a story the child can understand which forms the reason the child would accept. When done often, the child would learn to think about what is right and wrong and be reasonable. Discipline is necessary, but there is a place for reasoning if you have some patience. It can be fun in fact. Communication when satisfying both parties is always fun. It is always Win Win! Daddy and mummy win, Baby wins.

I am amused that Haruka enjoys watching the kids program where a shoe, cup or other objects has eyes and mouth and can talk and smile. It does not alter her reality and she probably knows that it is just cartoon for entertainment. Yet, it captivates her attention to learn. Similarly, the way we reason to our 1 year old with lots of animation and positive and fun words can command more attention and maybe even obedience. Barney can be our role model! Don't you think so? What can we learn from Barney - his gentle and enthusiastic tone of voice, his animated and energetic body language, lots of smiles and lots of stories. Here is how I persuaded Haruka to sleep early at night.

Daddy: It is time to sleep, Haruka.
Haruka: No! (yells)
Daddy: Do you know where you are going tomorrow? (attention grabbing and stimulates 2 way conversation)
Haruka: Playcenter?
Daddy: Yes. Do you like to play with your friends?
Haruka: Mmm. (yes but silently knowing daddy has not ended the sleep topic yet.)
Daddy: Are you going to sleep early now?
Haruka: Ok.

Daddy switches off light and Haruka did not cry or yell. In the dark, she continued to play and talk to herself. But at least, the TV and light is already off. This scene could have changed between two people shouting Yes and No. Also, this scene could be innovatively altered such as "Wow, all the boys and girls in Barney show sleeps early. Do you want to be a Barney girl?". It could be a childish reasoning, but one which a 1 year old would be happy to accept.

(Photos show the Yokohama Hakkeijima Sea Paradise we went on the same day the family outdoor portrait were taken. A whole day entrance passport of 4900 yen to this amusement park may not be worthwhile, but the entrance to the vast aquariums is just 2700 yen).