Tip 176: Maintaining a good Facebook demeanour

It is amazing that a click of a button can send a social signal to friends. Facebook has revolutionized communication mainly because of the amount of people using it such that new standards and cultures can easily emerge. An online community is literally created as many people religiously logs on to Facebook everyday to read about news of their friends. They possibly meet their friends 'virtually' more often on Facebook than physically face to face. The messages exchanged and responses made on Facebook could have a stronger impact than a handshake at church. This means an encouraging message left on a church member's facebook wall could possibly mean more than a mere handshake at church. Same goes for a careless sarcastic comment left.













But what's okay on Facebook? Are there are any netiquettes to follow? Are we building the right Facebook identity such that a person seeing us face to face will not feel disappointed with how we acted or responded on Facebook. Are we accepting invitations by friends and if we don't, does that send a negative signal to them that we are arrogant or that we forgot them?













First of all, we should use Facebook at a frequency that we are comfortable with. We should also expect others to be likewise, as not everyone responds as quickly even if they maintain a Facebook account. Yet, how we respond to accepting invitations from friends can send a strong message. I was particularly encouraged by someone in church who is among church leadership, who thanked me for adding her as a friend. Just 1 sentence can be a powerful encouragement. Same goes if you are in leadership in your company and do the same to one of your junior workers. It is surely a commitment to be involved and share in other people's personal lives. Yet, if done with the right Facebook etiquettes, we could build goodwill and strengthen connections. Some dos and don'ts include avoid sending invitations to quizes and other applications to everyone in your friends list by clicking 'skip this step' or 'continue to result' button. This would avoid annoying others by minimising the updates they see from you. Same goes for only inviting friends to groups that they are really affiliated in, instead of sending a mass invitation without customizing it. Probably, the most important netiquette is to know the difference between a wall and a message. Personal messages or questions belong to clicking a send message instead of leaving the comment on the wall for others' consumption. Only general messages such as birthday wishes have their place on a wall. To reply to a status update, comment on that section so it is more relevant for others to read it instead of seeing them on a wall later without context.













I personally need to control myself when leaving opinions to certain topics or questions raised. In the heat of feeling strongly on an opinion or stand, one can use sarcastic or heavily worded expressions that can be a bad taste to the receiver, as well as others who read the comment made. Surely, we all need to be responsible with our Facebook presence so as to leave a pleasant trail instead of unnecessarily weakening ties we have meant to build in the first place. Putting care to how we use the different Facebook features does demonstrate that we are not only considerate, but detail oriented with whatever we do. Even on Facebook.













(Photos show a wedding walk at a Kamakura temple as well as an octopus crepe/cracker made fresh from octopus at an Enoshima stall. It taste like a dried squid crepe, though less strong in scent and taste. As it was made fresh, it is hot on the fingers and crispy in the mouth. Surely, a good business idea to follow the takoyaki and okonomiyaki small stalls spreading outside Japan).