Daddy Parenting Tips: Tip 150: Instilling spontaneous kindness

I am currently in Tokyo for a holiday before starting my next assignment. Good chance for us earlier to stay in Okinawa, so the whole family could catch up with my in laws and for them to spend as much time as they want with Haruka, while me and Tomomi finally have our break time to be alone together. For a brief week, Tomomi stayed at Okinawa a while longer, while I had errands in Tokyo.

Went to church by myself and an interesting encounter got me reflecting on this blog post. It was raining and I just finished church service. Had a stroll in the drizzle which I wouldn't do with family. Though on clear days, a stroll down safe Japanese streets adorned with flowers is much more pleasant than the train ride. On a quiet street, a father and his son aged less than 10 years passed by me and asked me for directions if I knew where a particular badminton racquet shop was. He was holding a wet leaflet with the addrress and details of discounts available. I said I did not know where it was. But, I continued to tell him that I knew that the street we are at would unlikely have this shop. I told him he could walk accross to the other side where there was a large sports shopping complex. His son's eyes gleamed hoping his dad would give up and his dad gave a quick nod. His son thanked me. I continued walking and looked back. His dad was still searching the street signs.

I went ahead to window shop while a thought came to mind that I could actually had accompanied them to the large sports shopping complex and bought his son a racquet. It could be his first racquet. It could be more expensive without discounts, but I doubt they were eyeing the designer labels of the highest price tags. It must be stressful to support a family in Tokyo with a hard labourer's wages and want to give the best to your children. The materialistic kids these days would give the pressure of owning the best. They say if you want to win in sports, you have to have the best racquet, the best gear. If you want to get an A grade in art, you must have the best paint brush, best paintset. Poor daddy. Just wanting to see the gleaming pride of his son appreciating his dad's labour of love. I was back again at the same street to head home and was praying that the duo would be still there, but there were gone. Else, I could have mustered courage to offer kindness even if it was declined.

If only

I had spontaneous kindness. I naturally have spontaneous lies. Spontaneous hands to grab free samples. Spontaneous eyes to see the curves. Spontaneous driving skills to maneuver a traffic jam. Spontaneous reflects to stop a snatch thief. Once a decade ago, on my first day of a part time job selling F1 tickets at the Malaysian Sepang International Circuit, a European customer commended me of my reflects when the customer before him tried to steal my cash at the ticket counter. I was swift to held it away even after a long day dealing with countless people and considering it was my first time selling tickets ever in my life. So why no spontaneous kindness? I am sure it comes with training. First, the need to blog to start a paradigm shift in my mind to have full resolve. Next, to start on many small acts of kindness of giving instead of always taking. I think quantity breeds quality. Though, for some, you could excel even if it was your first time.

There are so many small kindness that may be insignificant, yet makes this world a better place. Paying the toll fare for the car behind you to save someone's time, paying for someone's bus fare when they are out of change, or meal when their wallets are dry. It does battle with the mind that ultimately all these contradicts with the very goal of saving and thus spontaneous kindness is difficult. But once we taste appreciation, its every penny worth it. I was teaching in Sunday School years back and a kid from another class had a tape on his crooked spectacles from falling apart. I asked him why and he said he knew his dad would not buy a new one for his careless accident. The next week, I took that boy and his friend for a drink and we stopped by the optician and ordered a new pair of student budget glasses. He got a good vision and a smarter image. I no longer see him or know what he is currently doing, but his smile was worth every penny. Though, back then, it was not spontaneous either and I could have missed the chance if he had not came the following week.