These are t
he magic words necessary to keep the family engine moving smoothly. A family is no different from a car that needs regular servicing. (This is spoken to the male audience as daddies need to think in such practical terms). In fact, most families will either need a daily, weekly or monthly servicing. It is necessary to check if the engine and brake oils are sufficient, else on long journeys, the car would break down suddenly causing immense inconvenience, loss and even possible disastrous accidents. Regular servicing entails checking the emotional, physical and spiritual state of the family to know that no built up frustrations of unmet needs could cause major arguments which can be avoided in the first place. Most of the time, it is daddy’s fault for not playing by mummy’s rules. Some of the times, it is mummy’s fault for getting too emotional to forget that daddy did try his best or that both mummy and daddy are not perfect beings and each need time to understand new perspectives in life. All families have their squabbles and frustrations. We live under pressure each day chasing after a dream lifestyle that is broadcasted live through the mass media and literature. Technology, knowledge and wealth have grown so much over the centuries, enabling longer distances to be travelled, mass production and customizations to be performed across different countries, increasing learning and understanding of different cultures and different peoples’ lives. The immense productivity and improved standards of living have created huge gaps between different family income patterns, increasing expectations for a good life not just in terms of material possessions, but also the kind of happiness we see on TV soap operas of the ideal family we wish to have, instead of being happy and thankful for what we have. Hence, the need for regular family communication to realign expectations back to reality and work together through a common understanding. That’s a big word for many daddies and we shall just call it regular servicing. I have found that one key method in this servicing job is to constantly spend time to reaffirm your wife and children that you were there for them by giving them examples and will be there always as have been. You may have spent time going shopping or even on a beautiful holiday with your family, yet you still need 15-30 minutes a week to have time for regular servicing.
he magic words necessary to keep the family engine moving smoothly. A family is no different from a car that needs regular servicing. (This is spoken to the male audience as daddies need to think in such practical terms). In fact, most families will either need a daily, weekly or monthly servicing. It is necessary to check if the engine and brake oils are sufficient, else on long journeys, the car would break down suddenly causing immense inconvenience, loss and even possible disastrous accidents. Regular servicing entails checking the emotional, physical and spiritual state of the family to know that no built up frustrations of unmet needs could cause major arguments which can be avoided in the first place. Most of the time, it is daddy’s fault for not playing by mummy’s rules. Some of the times, it is mummy’s fault for getting too emotional to forget that daddy did try his best or that both mummy and daddy are not perfect beings and each need time to understand new perspectives in life. All families have their squabbles and frustrations. We live under pressure each day chasing after a dream lifestyle that is broadcasted live through the mass media and literature. Technology, knowledge and wealth have grown so much over the centuries, enabling longer distances to be travelled, mass production and customizations to be performed across different countries, increasing learning and understanding of different cultures and different peoples’ lives. The immense productivity and improved standards of living have created huge gaps between different family income patterns, increasing expectations for a good life not just in terms of material possessions, but also the kind of happiness we see on TV soap operas of the ideal family we wish to have, instead of being happy and thankful for what we have. Hence, the need for regular family communication to realign expectations back to reality and work together through a common understanding. That’s a big word for many daddies and we shall just call it regular servicing. I have found that one key method in this servicing job is to constantly spend time to reaffirm your wife and children that you were there for them by giving them examples and will be there always as have been. You may have spent time going shopping or even on a beautiful holiday with your family, yet you still need 15-30 minutes a week to have time for regular servicing. 
Y
es, women can be forgetful. Or they pretend to be forgetful to feed their emotional need. Yet, to function well as a family, the car needs servicing. Sorry to reemphasize this always as it sounds more technically feasible when you see it as an important man job to do. So, every week, I remind myself to remember the times when I was thoughtful, the times when I fill the gaps in childcare when my wife is not feeling well, the times when she has a family affair or friend situation that she needed to confide in me. Then, I would find a quiet place and a suitable time to have a good chat with my wife to remind her that I was there for her and will be there for her as always. During this servicing time, besides replacing the engine oil, I also try to check the condition of the car if there are any other problems that need further servicing by asking my wife how she was doing. Is she coping well in a new country, in the new home, in making new friends or in taking care of Haruka? Maybe she would say the kitchen light needs fixing and she told me last week but I was busy then. Or there was an interesting development in Haruka that she wanted to tell me. This give her an opportunity to speak to me instead of feeling frustrated that whatever she says to me, always goes to deaf ears or that she has no time to share any frustrations to me. If I know I will be busy in the coming week and possibly miss a car servicing session, I will tell her in advanced so she would understand or know that she would need to interrupt me if she needs to talk to me instead of expecting me to take the proactive step to stop my work and talk to her. Then, the next day, I will get a good dinner. That’s because the car is functioning well now with the new oil replaced.
es, women can be forgetful. Or they pretend to be forgetful to feed their emotional need. Yet, to function well as a family, the car needs servicing. Sorry to reemphasize this always as it sounds more technically feasible when you see it as an important man job to do. So, every week, I remind myself to remember the times when I was thoughtful, the times when I fill the gaps in childcare when my wife is not feeling well, the times when she has a family affair or friend situation that she needed to confide in me. Then, I would find a quiet place and a suitable time to have a good chat with my wife to remind her that I was there for her and will be there for her as always. During this servicing time, besides replacing the engine oil, I also try to check the condition of the car if there are any other problems that need further servicing by asking my wife how she was doing. Is she coping well in a new country, in the new home, in making new friends or in taking care of Haruka? Maybe she would say the kitchen light needs fixing and she told me last week but I was busy then. Or there was an interesting development in Haruka that she wanted to tell me. This give her an opportunity to speak to me instead of feeling frustrated that whatever she says to me, always goes to deaf ears or that she has no time to share any frustrations to me. If I know I will be busy in the coming week and possibly miss a car servicing session, I will tell her in advanced so she would understand or know that she would need to interrupt me if she needs to talk to me instead of expecting me to take the proactive step to stop my work and talk to her. Then, the next day, I will get a good dinner. That’s because the car is functioning well now with the new oil replaced.
Don’t you daddies need to make it a point to put in your calendar that the car needs servicing? Ladies, any other points to note during the car servicing session?
(Photos show Greenwich town featuring the Royal Observatory (up the hill where the Greenwich Prime Meridian line starts, the Royal Naval College and National Maritime Museum)
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