Tip 75: Love takes time

I was watching photos on facebook of a friend of mine who is a daddy of a daughter much older than mine. Then, it occured to me that there are so many more years ahead to still be the loving daddy that I am and aspire to be. Does one single act of love tell a whole life story of love? Nope. Does one single blog post define the daddy that I am and the things I have done for my children, my thoughts and my aspirations? Nope. Does one single stroll out to the park or an amusment park qualify for a memorable productive time spent? Nope. Rather, relationship requires constant interaction, constant patience, constant giving and a few sacrifices. In fact, key to a good relationship may even be having some time for disagreements to increase trust and understanding. There are no shortcuts to love. Through mastering economics, I used to think that there are always ways to maximise our efforts in investments, in making purchases, in living this life that is full of limited resources. But, to the receiver, love is unlimited and is always craved for more and more. Love is not defined by the acts of love, but the time spent loving. The keyword is time and not what you do and how creatively you do it that matters. Yes, certain acts of love will be more appreciated at times of needs and may yield better results, but when looking back to a relationship, you always ask yourself - how much time have I spent with my dad, my mum and my wife. Did it make me a better person?


These days, most activities are done hurriedly, with automation and with strict adherence to schedules and calendars. More so in Tokyo where respect of others' time is a critical expected human behavior. Yet, I realized that the phrase quality time spent is inferior to quantity time spent. At least, there should be much time spread out in many sessions to engage in quality time with family to meet all needs of affection especially during times of need. I am considering to reduce time at work for more time with family. Somehow, such decisions are necessary, though at first, I was thinking that its best to spent more time with family when the economy slows or at an older age when there has been more savings and investments built up that generates its own income. But, love does not work like a machine. Time is necessary to built trust and understanding. In the end, the memory others have of me is whether I have spent enough time with those I love and those who love me? Have I stood the test of time to be patient and self sacrificial? I wonder if love means differently to God who is not bound by man's time. Or are we focusing too much on our limited resources, that we fail to see that we have all resources to enable love and much be thankful for? Love takes time. Spent the time, and be not expecting instant results but be thankful always.