Tip 223: Trust and not Judge

All of us have our preconceived judgments on people, places and things. We sometimes hold on too tightly on the wisdom that life has taught us or the familiarity that lightens our anxiety.

There is truth that a square object would not fit a circular mould. Yet, our judgement is based on a 1 dimensional flat plain of a single time horizon and a particular environment and location. Life can bring lots of beautiful surprises, as our God has a good sense of humour.

Different seasons of life can change a person. New environments can bring the best out of a person and even change them for good permanently. A square ice can certainly not enter a circular mould. But, when the ice melts, it can surely fill any mould. We just need to withhold our judgement and trust in the goodness and beauty of a person. The perfect timing of God has much in store for good to happen when it is hoped for.

I used to have preconceived ideas about the different countries I will work at, even before I step foot on them. For instance, I had thought Tokyo was a dense, crowded and polluted city. My 4 years living there have changed my impression totally. I think Tokyo is an extraordinarily beautiful place which does not feel crowded at all if you know where to hang out. Based on that decision, I even bought a small apartment in the very center of Tokyo which is being rented out now.

I have also heard lots of exciting things about Hong Kong being a nice place to work in. I later found that it can be a gloomy place when the sun cannot penetrate the thick smog and the tall skyscrapers filling the skyline. It can get disorganized in some places when quick aggressive citizens push around in crowded areas and speak loudly and rudely, though this observation came from my wife and I have learnt to see it through her eyes.

This impression left me thinking that all of China is the same, yet I saw the most beautiful blue skies in Beijing when I was there for a week and was wondering where was all the pollution that I was expecting to see. There were lots of green in the large parks and lakes. Now that I am in Singapore, I have thought Singapore was a very orderly and law abiding city, yet there seem to be lots of necessary improvement before it can manage an ever increasing foreign population. Through all these experiences, I have learnt to be less quick to judge, but to maintain an open mind to marvel at what life can present to me.

Yet, what does it mean to trust? To trust is not to have any worries or fear, but patiently, lovingly and joyfully hold on to goodness and whatever God has in store for us.

To judge on the other hand is to rely on our wisdom and experience to decide on right or wrong and not let go of our feelings of shame, guilt, jealousy, fear, anger, unhappiness and doubt when making such judgements. It is never easy to hold on to a piece of square ice and wait for it to melt to fill the circular mould. Yet, if we insist of pushing the square ice into the mould, there will be lots of friction and pain. We may pray that God brings out the sun to melt the ice sooner, rather than later so the waiting can be shorter, yet it is His decision. We can only wait and why not spent it joyfully.

(Photos show the latest attraction in Singapore, Marina Bay Sands Skypark where I won a one night stay. The skyline of Singapore near the bay area is catching up with Hong Kong, and the view at the top is arguably better with clearer skies. Tomomi is in her 5th month pregnancy and Haruka is enjoying swimming and is not scared of heights, but probably annoyed by the Paparazzi).