Tip 71: Balance in Attachment Parenting

The 7th and last B turns out to be not such a scary word - Balance. With so much expectations on the parent to give, there is a need for wisdom to say Yes to ourselves when we need help or need rest. As much as Attachment Parenting calls for responsive parenting vs. the convenience parenting trend of this age, of leaving babies and children to be independent too early in life, there is a need to be responsive to the parents' needs too. Yet, sometimes, parents are just stubborn or determined to forget their needs - either to work too hard at their jobs to save for rainy days or to dedicate too much of their anxiety moments to the babies. Balance or equilibrium is a term used in economics to mean finding that perfect point where all needs are met and satisfied. Is this ever possible? Not in the short term. But, after spending some time doing, then reflecting and then trying to improve the doing - it may just be possible to find that balance. But as mentioned earlier, love is about sacrifice too and instead of expecting, we give to receive a balance in our lives.

There is certainly lots to do as a parent without a maid in the house to help in cleaning, as well as someone to help out caring for the baby. Hence balance would come by lowering our expectations and our anxiety levels on what we want and what we can do. Then, balance would also be achieved when we ease each others' burdens. But, its easier said than done. It is never easy to adjust our ideals or to make changes to our work schedules. We can however constantly make efforts to spend more time with our babies and share concern for our wives. Interestingly, after the baby knows we understands her needs, she would also be more well behaved. Maybe its the same with our spouse. When we make efforts to listen, it touches the human heart that we do understand. And that is most important than just giving and doing and sacrificing. The beauty is that even baby Haruka understands. We just need to listen and meet the initial need slightly and try our best. That's balance maybe - listening and responding while ensuring we do not overdo it and hurt ourselves. I am still learning as I journey along life.