Tip 247: Playing in multiracial playground

I blogged about how this world is intrinsically global. It was created to be a global world, then through disobedience and pride of man, God allowed discord through the desire to create different languages during the era of the Tower of Babel. Yet, through education and experiences of cooperation between cultures and nations, we are moving towards overcoming hurdles that set us apart. Similarly, daddies ought to encourage their children to develop a sense of acceptance of other races even at a young age.














It can be amusing to watch on TV or listen to the conversations of foreigners who speak different languages. Yet, it is a different reality altogether to live and play together with a foreign person of a different skin color who speaks a foreign language. The more exposure, the more understanding of the differences between each other. Then, the child learns to accept or reconcile any wrong perceptions held earlier.














I blogged previously about being careful with our body language when we meet a person of a different race. We just need to frown or be startled and our little children will sense that vibe in us. Before long, they would also internalize the same body language and inhibitions when meeting people of different color and languages. We often do not blame ourselves for this subtle habits, but it actually sow seeds of discord.














I was at a new playground and Haruka was eager to check out the new slides. An Indian mother was close to me and felt uneasy if a young father like me might feel uneasy with her presence. I smiled and invited her to sit next to me in case she wanted to. Later, as her Indian children played, Haruka smiled at them and watched from a distance. Then, she approached nearer and began to play ball with the Indian children. These were strangers from another housing neighbourhood, yet Haruka has possibly gotten the silent encouragement from daddy to be friendly and enjoy the moment.














(Photos show Sayaka at 5 months old and 2 weeks old when my mum visited).

Tip 246: How much attention is enough?

The older generation used to say that giving too much attention to a baby spoils the child. The older generation had less time for their children as they had more children in the family and more manual tasks to do each day to be constantly bothered about giving attention to their children. Yet, children's development in this generation have accelerated and their intelligence increasing due to enhanced motivation and availability of learning aids at a young age. Should we then make a conscious effort to start our babies earlier than usual in their learning? More importantly, should we be giving attention even when the child is yet to learn?














I was spending some time with 4 month old Sayaka by smiling and making funny faces at her. She would smile or giggle whenever she sees me. Due to the constant attention she enjoys receiving, she is alert and constantly scans around to look for company. She is able to turn her head around with her strong neck (due to my rough handling of her in her young age, but she does has a strong bone structure as well). Plus, she now rolls over on her chest and kicks the surface to maneuver around in different directions. I thought of trying out the song and tickle routine of round and round the garden. To my amazement, she giggled when I tickled her. She also anticipated the tickling after I tried the routine a few times. I checked my previous blog entry and realized I only started doing this to Haruka at 6 months old, while the children's guidebook recommends introducing this after age 1 year old. Sayaka does make noise and cry when she does not sense anyone around her. Sometimes, I leave her alone and after a while, she sleeps while sucking her thumb. A baby does crave for attention when it is given to her. Yet she needs to learn how to amuse herself or be contented with looking around her surroundings. I believe there is a time for everything and we need to expose the child to different situations. Constant attention may need to be reduced when the child is beginning to be too demanding. Like the Central Bank who needs to constantly adjust interest rates based on the economic situation of the country, a daddy needs to adjust between excessive attention and just the right amount of motivation to stir curiosity in the child. If the Central Bank increases the interest rates by too large a quantum or too frequently than necessary, the market overheats. Hence daddy needs to be constantly present to assess the situation to ensure a well balanced and sustainable child. Intelligence and talent isn't everything.














(Photos show Sayaka at 4 months old).

Tip 245: Reading aids for 3 year olds

I was sitting at home with 3 years old Haruka watching kid's TV programme. Singapore does have a good kids channel called Okto with many imported and local kid's programme. Then, I began to watch Haruka got excited with the interesting programme. She repeated the ABCs when prompted by the cartoon to do so. The cartoon character was spelling words and I was impressed that Haruka could now utter the alphabets and then pronounce the words. That's the power of media in assisting kids to learn at a younger age. The cartoon has youthful voice, is full of zest and is so entertaining to learn with. The pause to prompt for the child's response is well timed making it almost a two-way communication. Definitely beats learning from a dull parent or teacher.














I previously blogged about the benefits of watching TV (particularly Barney programmes). I am again convinced that programmes that are well done and resonate well with the kids can assist in learning and in developing the kid's intelligence.














Hence, parents need to select good TV programmes for the kids as well as ensure the kids have time for other activities. These programmes can illustrate learning concepts easily. Now, Haruka understands that each letter has a sound and together the letters construct a word. I can now teach her reading and practice with her since she understands well how to do it after watching that programme.














Some may argue that it raises the expectation of the child to yearn for high quality teaching aids and the child may be disinterested when being taught by common people. I believe it is not easy to learn new concepts for the first time. Once the child builds a strong foundation, the child gains confidence and has more interest to learn from even dull lecturers. But, if a teacher does not communicate the lessons well and the child constantly lags behind, it can affect the desire to learn. When the child has mastered learning, the parents can encourage the child to build other critical skills such as keeping a long attention span and persistence on monotonous tasks. Yet, future societies for the next generation may see more animated tasks at work and leisure places and parents may not need to worry too much.
















There are so many reading and learning aids these days from TV programmes to computer and phone touch screen applications and games. I still believe there is a need for the traditional method of reading from a book and parents may want to encourage interest in both. It is no different than having a variety of food dish menu each day. You do not cook your child's favourite dish every single day, else the child may not learn to like other dishes and food variety. Parents ought to also prevent kids from being addicted to these highly entertaining learning aids.














(Photos show the Art Science Museum in a building representing 10 fingers, the Welcoming Hand of Singapore. I attended an art exhibition of Salvador Dali and is impressed that this structure does inspire creativity. Hurry this exhibition ends on 30 October 2011).

Tip 244: Seed of love bears fruit

I blogged previously about the slow growth of the bamboo shoot. Often times, we are impatient when it comes to gardening. We expect the plant to appear after just a few days of burying the seed/stalk. Yet, it may take as long as 5 years to see a sprout appearing from the ground.

Same goes for loving others including our family members. The easiest example is my eldest daughter. Initially, it seems she was more attached to mummy. I was wondering why she would not want to hold my hand when we are going out together as a family. Haruka would prefer to hold mummy's hand. It can feel sad when your loving efforts do not receive reciprocal response. But love is patient and is long suffering. Surely, our Father in Heaven also yearns deeply for us to communicate with God regularly considering the many blessings we receive each day.














I continued to put my best efforts in spending quality time with Haruka. I read more often with her. I coached her in her colouring and writing. I played with her whenever I have time. I have even started running with her on a track field with her trailing behind me. Then, she began to respond in love. She would approach me and hold my hand. She would tell me that she loves daddy. She does spend more time with Tomomi and still has stronger attachment. Though, I am not far from building a deep relationship with Haruka. The recipe is constantly sowing seeds of love and waiting patiently and lovingly for the fruits to bear.














(Photos show Sayaka in her 100 day studio photo, a Japanese tradition I followed for Haruka as well. Also photos of East Coast park beach, Singapore).

Tip 243: Faith, Courage, Enthusiasm

"I will win! Because I have Faith, Courage and Enthusiasm!" That's the theme of the movie The Company Men starring Tommy Lee Jones and Ben Affleck, amidst corporate downsizing. The movie captures well the emotions of people affected by the volatile job market. It also explains why this volatility is happening - the need to grow the company rapidly to answer to shareholder's expectation of profits, the desire to own large buildings for reputation's sack and thereby render risk to change course should the business be not as buoyant.

It is sad that company drones work hard for the queen or kings of the corporation, yet risk losing their livelihood as there is lack of sense of loyalty to either parties. Is there then the need to not marry oneself to one's job? Is there a need to educate corporate owners to grow the company organically, instead of by leaps and bounds with disregard to the risk of downsizing? Has corporations in the wake of capitalism forget their core value and function which is to create goods and services for the community, by working with a good team of people that the corporation has chosen to nurture to build their potential for success? Or are companies in the business to create unnecessary ups and downs for the community and families.

Sadly, this is the reality of today's imperfect economic system. In the movie, GTX, a transport company begins to evaluate cutting all its unprofitable divisions, even its core business divisions when it started operations. The CEO salaried at $22 million even laid off his long time employee who together founded the business with him since they have differing views on downsizing. It's a cold message that friendship in the workplace nowadays mean nothing if it impedes profit.

Yet, in the final analysis, there is always a rainbow that awaits the patient. Rough times will come and go. Evil will always be judged. Help is always near to those who wait upon Him in faith, courage and enthusiasm. There is always something to learn from trials.














What matters more is not the forecast of profits or the attainment of success, but whether we have faith in goodness. Success will always come if we build our faith upon the right foundation. How awesome if we can have faith in the potential of people by motivating them to enjoy building a future together as a team. If it does not come, we still gain in learning to be content with the simple things in life such as the smiles of my lovely daughters. Or in the film, the valuable time in playing basketball with a lonely teenager son that yearns for his dad's company and mentoring. Everything happens for a reason and we can wait patiently for the revealing of God's Good Will.














In rough times, courage is the thin string that holds things together. Courage against giants, against ruthless and cold evil, against those who sneer and have lack of faith. Enthusiasm is the light humour that brings us through discouragement. There must be a new day with new blessings. Even if the tap runs dry of water, there is always a wealth of lessons to be learn each day. Light up our eyes so we can eagerly spot opportunities to grow, to love and to win.














I too have my fair share of ups and downs in all my workplaces. Yet, I echo the actor's call that there is nothing to lose if we chant "faith, courage, enthusiasm". We can only lose our job, but we will never lose our spirit. There is always good to those who seek after goodness, despite our failings and weaknesses.

Check out another blog I write: http://lifenewcreation.blogspot.sg/ to find about securing new opportunities for your future.















(Photos show Haruka with my mother in law during our search for a kindergarten where they had mochi making and eating, and family and relatives enjoying Indian lunch buffet at Riverwalk Tandoor, Singapore for SGD13 per person).

Tip 242: Write by handholding

When teaching a child, we debate whether we want to allow the child to discover their own style and preferences, or we should guide them each step of the way. Sometimes, the child learns to be obstinate to refuse learning, or begins to express the desire to be independent. If the child does not learn, is it due to the teaching method of the parent and more effort is needed in encouragement and guiding patiently? Or should we let time decide if the child will learn by his or herself?

























Haruka has been taking an interest in colouring for the past few months. She would show me the colouring she did in Sunday School. It is just plain scribbling all over the place. Then, one day, I decided to explain to her how to colour neatly within the boundaries of the picture. Initially, she would not understand the need to do it. Then, I said the magic word. I said if she coloured beautifully, her teacher would praise her and gave her incentives.


























She began to put more effort to think about her colouring and how to improve. I spent one afternoon colouring with her. I coloured a picture beautifully, and she saw the difference between my work and hers. I coloured the whole page and slowly coloured different objects with the right colours. After a while, she did the same and begin to decide which colour would suit a particular picture. From my guiding initially, Haruka began to make her own decisions and would then insist her colour sense is right. My job is quite finished.















Now and then, when I see her colouring, I still point to her how she can improve. I would show areas where her colouring is not as neat and even. She understands now the concept of colouring and would agree with me. It may take a while before Haruka improves. It may be necessary for me to supervise her more and practice together with her if I want it to be a work of art. But, at least now, she has an idea of how a beautiful colouring can be.















She comes back from kindergarten with a page of homework on weekends. This requires tracing the dots of alphabets. Most children aged 3 years old would still not have a steady hand at writing. Her grip on the pencil would either be too soft or she would not understand the instructions of the homework and follow the correct strokes. Once, she even coloured the page instead of writing the alphabets. I doubt teachers these days would sit down with the child and slowly guide them. The most they would do is to spend 5-10 minutes to provide instructions on how to do it.















Hence, the need for daddy to spend time with Haruka to explain the strokes and hold her hand. I realized that it may take more than one afternoon to ensure she writes the alphabets correctly. But, so far, I have guided her with a few pages of her homework. Singapore education must be very intense and a daddy from church shared that he spends a lot of evenings with her children who are in primary school. I hope I can do my part in the future, but for now, I will just hold her hand while my daughters let me.















(Photos show an afternoon at the Istana in Singapore with my mother in law, on a public holiday where it is opened to the public - though not for golfing).